Do you ever feel like you are living in an alternate reality? I recently stumbled upon a few blogs belonging to old friends and reading them was like being violently propelled into a surreal world where everything was familiar and yet completely foreign. I grew up with these people, they were dear to my heart and my affection for them knew no bounds. Now I am attached with the interest of seventy-two year old biddies comparing photos of grandchildren. It makes for pleasant small talk, a few exclamations of “oh my,” and then I go on my way, musing for a moment on what has become of my old friends, and caring in the sense that I am glad they are happy or successful (and would be pained to hear they were not so), but not caring in the sense of wanting to be near them and participating in their lives.

I am also amazed at how different we are. In five years I have lived in four different states, been married, had two kids, earned my associates degree. My world is completely altered. Only a sliver of the person I used to be is still around. I look the same, but feel unrecognizable. Their blogs talk of parties and work and this guy (or girl), and mine talks about toddler tantrums and baby poop. They are blissfully single and I am totally wrapped up in motherhood and family life. We are on opposite sides of the Berlin wall. I wonder if they look at me with the same curious wonder that I am thinking of them with?

Whatever choices they have made in their lives, I hope they are happy. I would like to know that life is treating them well. I hope they are as comfortable in their skin as I am in mine.