6:00pm- Mother puts meatloaf in the oven and peels potatoes, sits down to the computer to feed Infant and surf blogs.

6:50 pm- Child complains that his tummy hurts. Mother looks for owies and finds nothing. Figures it couldn’t have gotten hurt too badly as there are no marks.

6:56pm- Child complains again. Really bright mother realizes that pain must be coming from the inside. Mother has brief, horrific fantasy about appendix rupturing, snaps back into reality, tells child to go sit down and watch his movie, maybe he’ll feel better. Child stays by Mother’s side.

7:00pm- Child cries out, then vomits spectacularly onto dining room floor. Mother cleans up Child, gets Child a drink, cleans up floor, washes her hands, wonders if people with rupturing appendixes vomit.

7:08pm-Mother opens oven to find that she forgot to take the Saran wrap off of the dish prior to inserting into 325 degree oven. Thankfully Saran wrap shrinks to the sides. Mother speculates that meatloaf is probably still good.

7:09pm- Child vomits drink onto kitchen floor. Mother cleans up Child, gets Child a drink, cleans up floor, washes her hands, prays that Infant doesn’t get sick.

7:21pm- Mother piles several clean blankets onto couch where child wants to sit. She has concocted a plan where she only has to move one or two blankets if Child vomits on couch, and there will still be more blankies underneath.

7:30pm- Mother realizes that she is burning dinner, starts to remove dinner from oven when Child starts to gag. Mother flips the oven off and runs to the living room with a plastic bucket. Child successfully pukes into the bucket. Yea, Mother, yea Child. Mother gets Child a drink and washes hands.

7:45pm- Mother eats dinner, Child is not interested, for obvious reasons.

8:00pm- Child asks to watch “Pider.” Mother puts the Spiderman cartoons on. Mother goes up to Child’s bedroom to put clean sheets on the bed, and piles six more blankets on top of that, hoping to employ same strategy as couch strategy.

8:45pm- Mother puts child to bed, reads stories, says prayers, encourages Child to throw up in the bucket, please.

8:51pm- Child vomits on bed. Mother removes top two blankies and replaces the pillow. Is silently pleased that her plan worked, as Child is comfortable in bed within a minute.

8:54pm- Mother starts a load of laundry and washes hands. Prays that Infant does not catch this, gets Child a drink.

9:00pm- House is a disaster. Kitchen is gross. Mother is tired and doesn’t care. Mother leaves note for Father to please deal with mess if he happens to come home on break. Mother does manage to put away leftover meatloaf.

9:30pm- Mother goes to bed with Infant. Infant immediately asks to be fed. Mother lays awake praying that the rest of the Family, especially Infant, won’t catch this. Mother pleads with God to please, please, please make the breastmilk work. Infant is finished eating. Mother tries to sleep.

10:00pm- Mother is still awake, contemplating how a baby could possibly get antibodies from breastmilk for an illness that her mother hadn’t had yet. Mother prays that she gets sick first for the sake of keeping Infant healthy.

10:10pm- Mother realizes that she could just be carrier of the virus and build immunities that way. Mother edits prayer to, “please keep Infant healthy and only let me get sick if You really have to, otherwise just make me a carrier so Infant doesn’t get sick.”

10:15pm- Mother realizes she must be insane to be praying to get sick. Mercifully falls asleep.

2:43am- Child is standing by Mother’s bed moaning. Mother sits up and child vomits all over Mother’s legs and the floor. Mother tries not to be grossed out. Mother gets Child a drink, cleans up floor with a dirty t-shirt, washes her hands, prays that Infant doesn’t get sick.

2:54am- Mother is reading bedtime stories to child, again. Child asks for another drink. Mother
finds note from Father downstairs stating that he didn’t get any breaks last night. Child is asleep before Mother gets back upstairs with drink.

2:55am- Mother goes back to sleep.

3:10am- Infant wakes up hungry. Mother feeds the her.

6:08am- Infant wakes up hungry again. Mother feeds her, and remembers that her allergy clinic
appointment is at 9:00 am. Mother goes back to sleep.

6:46am- Child is crying by Mother’s bed again. Mother leaps out of bed and leads Child to the toilet. “Remember when I was pregnant with Maggie and I puked in the toilet all of the time?” Child retches in response. “This is the best place to puke, that’s it, get it all out, get all the yuck
out, you can do it, keep going. . .” Mother feels a bit funny giving a motivational speech for vomiting. Oh well. Mother washes her hands.

7:00am- Mother has Child parked in front of the TV with his blankets and the bucket and switched the laundry. Mother goes back upstairs and feeds Infant.

7:30am- Mother realizes there is no possible way she can get herself out the door for her appointment without Father’s assistance. Mother wakes sleep deprived Father. Father answers the call to duty.

7:45am-Father takes over. Child vomits more. Father cleans up, gets Child a drink, and Mother hopes he washed his hands.

8:30am- Mother leaves with Infant to go to her appointment and pick up more Pedialyte and children’s Tylenol. Child is upset because he can’t go with. Mother promises a treat from the store.

8:31am-12:10pm- Father runs the show. Child vomits at least twice more, then sleeps for a few hours. Father cleans the house. Father rocks.

12:15pm- Mother and Infant arrive home. Mother gives Child new Spiderman action figure and Incredibles book. Child is so elated he vomits. Mother boils Infant’s pacifiers.

1:00pm- Child has sudden burst of energy, runs around with Spiderman toy.

1:45pm- Child looks ok. Mother sits down to the computer. Mother thinks she should have bought Spiderman toy yesterday.

2:00pm- Child asks for food. Mother gives him saltine crackers.

2:15pm- Child vomits up food.

3:00pm- Child still sick. Mother must get off computer and attend to her mothering duties. Please pray that Infant doesn’t get sick.