They’re Coming To Take Me Away. . .
If the definition if insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again expecting to see different results, then why does everyone keep telling me to be so consistent with disciplining my son? Because people, I am doing the same darn thing every time he acts like a little brat and so far, the behavior is not changing. By all accounts, I must be insane.
The past few days have sucked the sanity right out of me. Jonas has exhibited obnoxious behavior with amazing savoir faire, and I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Yesterday I got in the car alone to run an errand and I was seriously tempted to drive away and not come back home for a week or two. Everything I have told him to do has been met with open defiance.
Eat at the table= sneak food onto couch and spill it.
Go to bed= run screaming up and down the stairs until mom has to use duct tape to lock you in your room at eleven pm.
Don’t jump on your sister= jump harder and try to push her off of the couch just to see mom leap across the room in a single bound, and twist her ankle trying to catch the baby before her head hits the linoleum.
Someone asked me the other day how I had gotten the baby weight off. I think chasing an errant three year old up and down stairs all day does the trick.
This has been going for over a week now. Starting today, all television privileges have been revoked. I have noticed that his behavior improves when he watches less tv. The problem is that when he is being a big stinker I just want to park him in front of the tv so I get a break. It’s a vicious cycle.
The other night I was yelling at Jonas for the umpteenth time that day when it came to me that this wasn’t benefitting him or me. I immeadiately called a sitter and left the house, which helped. If I could do that every night for a week I might have my anxiety level down to my usual level of irritation instead of having every nerve in my body completely raw and calling my husband at work begging to have my sins absolved and be removed from this purgatory like thing they call motherhood.
The one thing that has been consistently bringing me some joy is checking out what people googled when they found my site, because it has proved to me that there are people out there having just as bad of a time as I am. To the people who found me by searching for: “child vomits when upset”, “water pouring out of air ducts”, “random bloody noses”, “allergic to lilies”, “transplanting large cactus”, “pregnancy- wet my pants,” “boob popping out of bra,” and “correcting whining in children” I just want to say I sooo totally get you and your frustration. To the five people who have found my site by googling “weird jello” in the past three days, you crack me up. To the person searching for “blowing up toy trains,” “bathroom ANWR”. . .or “I let my teeth go to hell, what do I do now?” (I swear I’m not making these up.) I really can’t help you. Oh and the lady who said she was “dilated to a 4 will I go into labor soon” umm, yes, you will, in fact most people consider a 4 to be labor. Get admitted and demand to have your water broken. And a big fat NO to the person searching to the answer for should I “Boogie Board when pregnant?” Keep ‘em coming, Google.
It sounds like you have a typical three-year-old. My daughter recently turned three and exhibits similar behavior. There are days when my husband comes home from work, and I just say, “I’m done. They’re yours.” and lock myself in my room or go for a walk for a little while.
You are right to limit the TV. Too much of that actually makes them hyper, not to mention all the things they learn from it. Sometimes a little extra one-on-one time with my daughter will help her calm down and improve behavior. When my children act up, and I want to run away, I have to remember that sometimes their errant behaviour is just a cry for more attention from Mom and Dad. “I’ll test you and see if you love me even when I’m awful!” Sometimes an outing alone with a parent is enough (read: trip to the hardware store with Daddy), or playing a game or stirring the cookies (or even dinner).
I know this stage is hard. Playing with my children is very hard for me. I love them, and I love playing with them, but I hated babysitting growing up. I find it hard to be creative and find child-friendly activities for them, especially when I wish I could send them to time-out for the rest of the day. Give Jonas a little extra love, and someday he WILL grow out of this stage. The bad news is that it takes a while. (years…)
Good Luck!
Comment by Mom2Five — July 13, 2005 @ 9:49 pm
Jonas sounds like my kid when she was younger in that she had behaviour issues that sometimes left me on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Luckily she was able to attend a preschool with support services (she saw a social worker ) through our local school district and I think a combo of the structure of a school setting plus just plain old getting older/more mature has vastly improved her listening and “obedience” skills. So mch so that I was finally mentall and emotionally able to deal with the idea of having another kid this year.
Comment by brandy101 — July 13, 2005 @ 10:04 pm
Yup, you have a boy. Mine youngest is a 3yr old boy also. He’s having an identity crisis. He can’t decide if he’s Peter Pan, a power ranger or a dog. He’s redecorated the house with shampoo, another day with toothpaste. If you tell him to do something he looks at you, smiles sweetly, and does the exact opposite.
The good news is he’ll grow out of it. You just have to get yourself some breaks so you’re sane enough to see him when he’s normal again. The other good news is that while girls also have terrible 3s, I don’t know anyone who thinks they’re as bad as boys. So you hopefully will only have to do this once.
Keep your chin up, keep smiling, and just remember…it’s a damn good thing they’re cute!
Comment by Julie — July 13, 2005 @ 10:08 pm
Again, you wrote another post for me. *sigh* Hubby and I go ’round and ’round with this all the time “What I’m doing isn’t working!” “It will, you just have to be consistent!” Hmmph! Oh, and you think you’re insane now… wait until the fighting starts! Not only do I feel like I’m banging my head against the wall with the behaviour issues, but the bickering…oooooh the bickering…that will definitely put you over the edge. Best of luck and a sympathetic )hug).
Comment by Lisa — July 13, 2005 @ 10:08 pm
OMG! You are living my life. Except I have a four year old and a two year old who are trying to kill eachother and do not understand that I am both of their mothers.
Comment by Irish Breen — July 14, 2005 @ 1:56 am
Yep, I too know where you’re coming from! I have a son about to turn 3 and a daughter a little over a year and a half (not to mention the drama queen 9-year-old girl and the I’m-too-cool-to-actually-DO-anything 13-year-old boy. As for the almost-3-year-old, he will do something, I tell him not to, he will look right at me, smile and do it again. THEN he’ll stop! Just has to get that one more time thing in just to show me that he’s independent now, I guess! Contrary to what you said, both of them seem to behave better if I leave their TV on…Dora the Explorer and Blue’s Clues…they love it!
Comment by Rowan — July 14, 2005 @ 7:02 am
Here are a few tried and true statements:
“You need a time out.”
“Go to your room.”
Never repeat yourself. If they don’t listen to you the first time, then they need to be forcibly (yet gently) maneuvered into the time-out corner or to their rooms.
Speak in positives. Instead of “Don’t eat on the couch,” say “We only eat at the table.” You are then taking away some of their ability to rebel.
Tell them when they are good. If they do something good, even if it is as simple as eating at the table, compliment them for it. Give them credit for all the little things. Believe it or not, they will then strive to please you. Further, it provides a stronger contrast for when you are not complimenting them, but expressing dismay.
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Comment by Jason — July 14, 2005 @ 3:22 pm
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Comment by Erin — July 14, 2005 @ 6:31 pm
I’m trying to remember how old Maggie is…Jonas sounds just like my Dylan did when my Madi got mobile. (Did that make any sense?) Once she started moving, he started pushing all of the boundries. It’s just a displacement thing, reassure him, Make sure you make Maggie wait sometimes instead of always making Jonas wait (Sounds so obvious, but I remember the day I was trying to make Dylan a PB&J and Madi started crying, Little three year old Dylan ran over to Madi and said “NO! Mommy is making me samwich you are PADOPTED (adopted)!” (Which of course she wasn’t).
Comment by Sheri — July 16, 2005 @ 12:40 pm