Winning The Potty Learning Battle
I have reached parenting nirvana. Jonas is, for the most part, finished potty learning. It was a long, frustrating road and many times I thought I was going to be changing his poopy diapers well into grade school. For a child who started out so resistant to the idea, the end actually came about quite easily. Potty learning, for Jonas, all relied on one simple principle: Everyone has a price, and once you learn it, they can be bought. Yes, Internet, I bribed him. And it worked.
About two months ago we were locked in a power struggle over poop. I wanted it in the porcelain bowl, he wanted it in his diaper. He refused to even admit that he was having a bowel movement, even when he was obviously straining and making what we call, “The Poop Face”. Each time I would catch him making The Poop Face, I’d haul his butt to the toilet and make him finish there, explaining that poop goes in the toilet. Each time, he would kick and yell and be quite unpleasant about the whole business.
One day we went to the mall where Jonas saw the Disney Store. He wanted everything and I said no in the interest of financial preservation. Upon arriving home and fighting the potty battle, I realized that I had gained a bargaining chip. I told Jonas very clearly and many times that if he pooped in the potty we would run to the Disney Store and he could pick out a toy. After about two days of this he was standing in the dining room when he suddenly yelled, “Pooooot!” and ran for the toilet, where he did, indeed, deposit poot. I immediately threw the kids in the car and went to the store where Jonas got a toy and some new big boy Incredibles underwear.
It was a breakthrough. I knew he was capable of getting himself to the potty, and that he understood a bribe. Within a few weeks I was finished dealing with poop. He reached the point where it felt gross to him to go in his diaper, and now tells his baby sister, “Don’t poot!” every time I change her diaper.
Peeing proved to be a bigger challenge. That, it seemed, could happen anywhere and he just didn’t care. We kept putting him on the toilet and he would usually go, but there was never any drive to get himself there. We were finding puddles everywhere. Once he even peed on Chris while riding on his shoulders. Finally, I had the good sense to revert back to bribery.
Jonas has gotten into the Rescue Heroes phase after being given a few action figures for his birthday, so one day I told him that if he stayed dry all day we would go to the store and he could get a new Rescue Hero. I made sure that I helped him with this goal by taking him to the bathroom a lot. I wanted him to do it in the first try so he knew he could. That night at eight o’clock, right before bed, we ran over to the BX and bought a new guy. Jonas was elated. The next day he stayed dry again and asked to go to the store for a new Rescue Hero. I made him a deal that if he stayed dry three days he could get another one. He met the challenge, and in those three days went from me forcing him onto the potty to him whipping off his diaper and peeing there on his own. We are having very, very few accidents and Jonas is quite proud of himself.
I’m quite proud of him too. When you think about it, it is rather remarkable that we go from being totally unable to control our bowels to being able to control them in our sleep. Learning the different sensations and gaining the ability to ‘hold it’ is a pretty neat thing.
Congrats to Jonas - there is a certain dignity in being able to do on ones own
Comment by Lou — July 20, 2005 @ 4:00 pm
You sure you don’t want to change your blog name to “Life as Loo” ?
Comment by marinadedave — July 20, 2005 @ 4:05 pm
It’s amazing what you can get a todler to do for mere stickers (bribes). Use the toilet, eat your vegetables, tidy up your toys. Congrats to Jonas as well as mom.
Comment by Sparkling — July 20, 2005 @ 4:25 pm
Yay, Jonas! Of course, the first time he gets constipated, you’ll need to bribe to potty again…
But otherwise, sounds like you’ve got a trained little boy there!
Comment by Anna — July 20, 2005 @ 5:34 pm
Ah but it’s when they switch on to the fact that the control the whole “bribe” transaction that things can get expensive - i tragically speak from experience. Nice one Jonas though!
Comment by Universal Soldier — July 20, 2005 @ 6:29 pm
Congrats! to Jonas… HURRAY!! I know what a feat that is. Congrats to mommy too.
Comment by wendi — July 20, 2005 @ 7:54 pm
Bribery vs. yellow puddles. Hey, whatever works.
Until he works out a way to turn it to his advantage. Kids are scary-smart that way.
Comment by P. Kirby — July 20, 2005 @ 8:39 pm
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the Battle of the Blogs, I shall fear no evil, for …
Oh, sh*t! It’s Lou!
So much for my ten credits.
;-)
Kn@ppster
Comment by Kn@ppster — July 20, 2005 @ 10:37 pm
Great job Jonas!
And to you mommy… Killian wanted a talking woody doll when toy story first came out. I bought it and there it sat on a shelf over the toliet till he was dry for a week. Guess I am a little hard. He had a great time tracking his goals. I made him a potty chart that hung in front of the potty at his level. Every time he went he got to put a star on the chart. When the chart row was filled he got his doll ( I mean action figure).
Comment by Irish Breen — July 20, 2005 @ 10:47 pm
Congrats, we have overcome the daytime potty training, but haven’t attempted the nighttime yet.
Comment by Beth — July 21, 2005 @ 11:17 am
Ah, but just wait until he’s a teenager and you want him to do his own laundry.
Comment by OldGuy — July 21, 2005 @ 3:05 pm
Well that’s awesome!
Congrats to your little man for beoming a big boy
Comment by Christie — July 21, 2005 @ 4:05 pm
I’ll be starting soon. I’m not too proud to bribe. It’s a big deal. I’d want toys too…
and it’s cheaper than another year of diapers….
Comment by THORDORA — July 21, 2005 @ 6:33 pm
Nothing wrong with using the power of incentives!
Comment by Stephanie — July 21, 2005 @ 6:46 pm
Way to go, Jonas! Congrats, Mama!
Comment by Lisa — July 21, 2005 @ 8:11 pm
Congrats to Jonas. However, I have to say: Babies can hold it. I thought at first that EC was a joke, but actually, it works. . . Jackie can EC, and she does not pee in her sleep.
Comment by LE — July 29, 2005 @ 8:32 am
Congrats! Being the mother of 5 children, I so know the feeling. Bribery I found works very well in many situations.
Unfortunately, I am the grandmere of only 1, who is not at the training stage yet. Any doubts and check my blogspot.
Comment by ladybeth — November 20, 2005 @ 8:19 pm