I was told recently that in having my primary focus on my children I was doing feminism a disservice. I think that statement was made in ignorance. I don’t believe that the person who said it to me was a true feminist. I believe that she was more focused on defending her own choices, and less interested in what was truly good for the women of our world.

Feminism, at its most simple point, is meant to empower and liberate a woman so that she has the power to chose what she wants to do with her life. To say that a woman ought not to focus on motherhood because she should be in the work place taking advantage of the rights gained for women there doesn’t do much to liberate a woman. It simply forces her to fit a new societal mold. If a woman feels most fulfilled in the workplace, then I believe she ought to be there and have access to the same privileges and rights that any man has access to. But if a woman feels that her life would be more fulfilled as a mother or wife, then I think she should have the right to choose that course. After all, isn’t motherhood one of the most feminine gifts of life? No man can be a mother.

I am saddened that in the pursuit of equal treatment so many women have to feel badly for choosing a more traditional role. Just because a woman is capable of being Rosie the Riveter doesn’t mean she should have to, or want to. Women do each other a huge disservice when they demean one another’s choices and force each other into roles that they do not wish to play.

In my life, I have met more opposition from women against the choice to focus on motherhood than I have from men. I have found most men to be supportive of a woman’s choice stay in the home or enter the workplace, especially in a marital relationship where the decision of who will work inside and outside of the home becomes a family issue. It is disgusting that there are women who choose to tear down other women for their choices to remain in the home or enter the workplace. Feminism has become a corrupt means to further whatever position a woman takes in her own life, and is usually to the detriment of her fellow woman. That is not what feminism ought to be. That is selfishness. There is nothing empowering in selfishness.