In the comments section of my last post Zach brought up a somewhat controversial topic about Barbies and their influence on a little girl’s developing idea of body image. I started to write him an e-mail, but got carried away, so decided to turn it into a fresh post. You can read his original comment here.

I think very few dolls represent a woman’s body in an accurate manner. I know my baby dolls didn’t. At the same time, cartoons and even many of the “perfect” stars we laud for having such beautiful bodies (plastic surgery and six hours a day at the gym, anyone?) portray messages that I think may be even more damaging.

While I have wondered a bit about this very issue, I have found myself more concerned with the fact that so many Barbies are dressed like sluts. I think we would do better to put less emphasis on how our body looks and more on what we do with our bodies (Go Dr. Barbie!) Where my own daughter is concerned, if she is interested in Barbies, I plan to choose ones that are more modestly dressed and have a focus other than a pool party.

In purchasing children’s toys, you really need to remember that YOU are the parent. You ultimately decide what goes into your child’s toy box, and what goes into your child’s head. You decide. You will send a stronger message about body image and self respect by modeling and teaching good behaviors yourself than you will ever send by buying a four year old a doll. I have a friend who has her five year old dressed in low, low rise jeans and belly shirts. This little girl looks like a miniature high school tramp. Her excuse was that, “She’s going to dress like a hoochie eventually anyway.” She has completely abdicated her responsibility for teaching her daughter to dress with dignity and self respect. What a sad thing to live in a world where so many parents feel they have no real influence on their children! She admitted defeat prior to ever having fought the battle. Your daughter doesn’t have to be a slut (even if her mama was one in her younger years). It’s about teaching morality and decency to our children. It’s about being a parent and not a friend. It’s a big deal. Never devalue your role as a parent; your teaching influence has the power to reach farther and last longer than any other influence in your child’s life.

If you do purchase Princess Barbie, point out that Princess Barbie is in training to be queen and to run a country someday. She must be gracious, intelligent and poised. Always point out that when a woman is good and virtuous inside, she really is more beautiful on the outside. While it may seem trite to say that, I have known so many women who in a normal light would have been average, but somehow their goodness shone through and made them so much more. They are the true princesses of our world, and the true role models to follow. May we all strive to refine ourselves to be pure and exceptional women and men, and teach our children to walk in that example.