TJ over at Zazzafooky interviewed me with these questions:

1. You’re the eldest child. What is the worst thing you’ve ever done to one of your siblings?

This one is easy. When my little sister, Janice, was a very small baby I was terribly jealous of the extra attention that she got. Every night my mother would tuck us into bed, after working pretty hard to get Jan off to sleep, I’m sure. I would wait a few minutes, then I would sneak over to her crib and pinch her to wake her up. I didn’t do it to be mean to Jan, but I knew that if she woke up and fussed mom would come to comfort her and while she did she would chat with me for a few minutes. I did this for awhile, until one morning Janice woke up with a small yellow bruise on her cheek and my mother asked me what had happened. I lied and said I didn’t know, and they assumed she had scratched herself or something. I was so horrified that I had hurt her enough to leave a mark, that I never did it again. I was only four, and I never pinched any harder than I needed to to rouse her, but still- I PINCHED AN INNOCENT BABY!

I never confessed to this crime, of which my mother had no memory until I was safely moved out of the house and married. And, in case you’re wondering, Jan got me in undeserved trouble ten times more than the average little sister ever has, so I’d say we’re even. However, noneof my infants will ever share a room with their older siblings until they are old enough to tattletale, just in case I give birth to a kid as weird as I was.

2. If you were in public and had to be stripped of one thing would it be your top or your bottoms? Explain how you would handle the day.

How odd, to be stripped only of one half. I mean, if you’re totally naked, that’s one thing. You’re making a statement. I am woman, see me streak! But half naked? That’s just kind of weird. I’m going to go topless for my answer. Why? First off, I don’t like sitting on stuff with no pants on. It feels weird. That would drive me nuts all day. Secondly, I’m pretty comfortable with my breasts. I’ve breastfed two babies and frequently walk around topless with no weird feelings. I think I could carry on with that outside of my house without feeling too bizarre. I think I would just pretend like absolutely nothing was out of the ordinary and watch everyone else squirm. When I got bored with that I’d drive over to my favorite nude beach and soak up some sun. I was a lot more modest prior to spending seven weeks in the hospital; now just about anyone can see me naked and it’s just not a big deal. I am what I am.

3. What is the dirtiest thing you have ever done? (Dirty can be interpreted how ever you like).

Now, you will all have to drag your minds out of the gutter. Truth be told, I haven’t done too much in that area of dirty, and I don’t think you’d find it earth shatteringly interesting. Not to mention the little bit I could maybe share would probably leave my mother permanently shaken.

So, the dirtiest I have ever been has got to be one summer at camp when I was about fifteen years old. My friend Randi and I found a huge mud hole by this little cascade. It was perfectly slimy and fresh and gooey and we jumped right in and wallowed in it from head to toe. It was beautiful and we figured that if we were at a hoity-toity spa we’d pay a hundred dollars to soak in some mud. We didn’t get out until a huge garter snake slithered by; you don’t generally see those at spas.

4. How have you been exceptionally cruel or mean to someone, and why? How has someone been exceptionally cruel or mean to you?, and why?

I’m not a cruel person by nature. I’ve had my share of prepubescent snobbery and made a few ex boyfriends fairly miserable, but I really haven’t done anything exceptionally cruel, except this one thing.

Shortly before Jonas was born I disowned a part of my extended family. These family members are evil, manipulative people whose vices run the gamut from devil worship to child molestation to drug abuse. There was so much deceit in them I don’t think I would even recognize the truth from them if I saw it. I was court ordered as a child to visit these relatives monthly, and it wasn’t a horrible thing, just weird. I was always on my guard. As an adult, I had no plans of cutting ties with these people, but when I was expecting my son I realized that he didn’t deserve to grow up with this in his life. It wasn’t fair to him to bring him into a family full of dangerous people who I knew functioned on a level of selfishness that made it obvious to me that he would never be safe around them. It wasn’t fair that I had to grow up around that environment, and I certainly couldn’t put my children through it. So I severed ties, and although it was cruel, because how could it not be, I don’t have a single doubt that it was the right course of action.

The second half of the question relates to the first. My biological father, part of this part of my family, and whom I haven’t seen since I was four, sexually abused me when I was a very little girl. It was cruelty at it’s worst, as it completely desecrated the beautiful relationship that a parent and child ought to have. My extended family on this side was aware of the abuse and did nothing. My cruelty of disowning a grandmother was very much deserved and came about because she chose to put her own selfish desires before the needs of her grandchild.

Although it was a bad situation, it is in the past. It does not define me or even very much affect the person I am today.

5. Imagine an egg on a table in front of you. The egg may be any shape, color, size or species. You crack it open. What kind of egg is it?
Snake Egg, Turtle Egg, Dinosaur Egg, Chicken Egg?

Now where is the option for Dragon Egg? Or Emu egg? And why is it that when I take these tests my first choice is never available? That alone has got to be saying something. I suppose Dinosaur is the closest thing, so I’ll go dinosaur. My dragon egg was blue and sliver, my dinosaur egg is just kind of muddy, rusty colored, like I just picked it up out of the sludge (there’s a stegosaurus inside).

Apparently this means:
Snakes Egg: You want wisdom and wealth for your children
Turtles Egg: Your main wish for your children is good health and wellness.
Dinosaurs Egg: You want most for your children to grow up to be individuals and not forced into cookie cutter molds. You desire originality and success.
Chicken Egg: You don’t have wild dreams or ambitions for your kids. You figure as long as they’re happy nothing else matters.

Ok People, there you have it. Now who wants to be interviewed by me? Drop me a line in the comments section if you are interested and I’ll think up some questions for you to answer on your blog. If I don’t get volunteers, I’ll just tag a few of you anyway, so belly up to the bar already

These are some shots I took yesterday of Maggie. Little miss is learning how to crawl, and it so thrilled about it! She is growing so quickly.