Tj from Zazzafooky is my guest poster for today. Hope you enjoy her funny post! I’m moving moving moving!

Sucking It Up

Today I’m recalling a story from way back when the kid was still just a wee-newborn. It was cold season and she got one. I was sent home from the hospital with a little baby care kit which included one of those rubber nose suckers. You know the ones, that look like mini turkey basters? Anyway, she was screaming bloody murder and the nose sucker wasn’t working for shit. My poor little baby was miserable and there was nothing I could do.

I finally decided a nice soothing bath was in order and maybe some of the steam generated would clear up her nose. I got in the bath with her and I’m doing my best to calm her down and make her more comfortable but nothing is working. I tried the nose sucker again but to no avail. Finally I couldn’t stand it anymore. Her discomfort was killing me. I pulled her to me, placed my mouth over her nose and with the force and enthusiasm it takes to get that last little bit of milkshake through the straw I sucked all the boogars right of her nose. Not realizing my genius plan would actually work I failed to prepare and found myself holding on to a mouthful of baby boogars. I had to jump from the tub to the sink to spit. GAK! It worked though. The screaming and crying stopped and she fell fast asleep.

The memory flooded back because it’s cold season again. I look at her now and wonder if would do the same thing all over again. She’s bigger now which means bigger boogars. GROSS.

I told the kid the story about a year ago and every now and then she tells people “my mommy is so gross, she sucked boogars out of my nose, ewwwwwww.” Thanks a lot kid, you little ingrate!