You know how when you have a bad day you can usually chalk it up to hormones or the full moon or lack of sleep or finding a spider in your Kraft minute rice or something? And then you move on and it’s over because the hormones have leveled, the moon is in a new phase, you got a nap, and the nice people from Kraft sent you a coupon for a free box of minute rice even bigger than the one you originally purchased. Well, unfortunately, nothing’s moving on. I am certifiably cranky. I am snapping at people, thinking mean thoughts and wishing I could be on vacation somewhere where I had a place to nap and all my troubles were solved. And it’s just not going away. Not. Even. A. Little. Bit.

I don’t know how my husband puts up with me. I keep apologizing, and really truly meaning it because I’m not trying to be a total harpy, it’s just who I am currently. I feel like I’m ready to jump down everyone’s throat. On top of that, the anxiety issues have gotten even worse and small muscles in my neck and shoulder are causing great pain in my ear and down my arm.

I know part of the problem is the money stress, that will get anyone into a bit of a tizzy, and I know part of it is that I could use a break from the munchkins (I swear the minute Maggie is weaned I will drop them both off at my in-laws and disappear), and some of it is definitely related to being homesick for North Dakota. I mean, come on people, what is it with this ‘good weather all the time in California’ crap? I don’t like it! I want autumn! I want crunchy leaves and a blizzard! I want frost on the trees and icicles! I want to see semis jack-knifing down the highway and people in casts because they slipped on their icy driveways! I want perfect strangers to grin at me through their face masks and ask, “cold ‘nuf fer ya?” That would make me happy, damn it!