soapbox.SUPERSTAR did this funny thing over at her blog where she googled her name and the word ‘needs’ just to see what she found. I thought I’d try it out:

Lou needs to stay safe in storm.
Well, of course! That’s why I have my poncho and routinely practice skills like sticking my rear end in the air in a lightening storm.

Lou needs to continue to refine her defense.
What? The insanity plea isn’t cutting it? You don’t think I’m CRAZY yet? C’mon, I can do crazy, people. Crazy is in my blood.

Lou Needs Help! Lou has no money.
I’ll take all the dead presidents you have to spare.

Lou: “We need to get Chris a full body massage from a Vietnamese whore.”
*snort* And when he’s done with that, I’d like one too, thanks.

“Lou needs to get her mind out of the red light district.”
Probably.

The American Lung Association of Florida needs Lou.
Well, who doesn’t?

Cat lover Lou needs a home of her own.
Yes, because I gave mine to the kitty cats, and even though I am feeding them steak and kidney pie while I exist on dry Friskies, they have unanimously voted to kick me out of the house.

Lou needs to get their pet chimp a license.
I do! Then he could drive Jonas to his Speech classes and fill up the gas tank when it’s low. Chimps are very handy creatures, you know. And I know mine can drive at least as well as some of the people I’ve seen driving around lately. I know a chimp wouldn’t try to force me off of the road so he could ignore the “Yield when merging sign”.

Lou needs lots of love and attention and in return she will the best friend and companion that you will ever know.
And she’ll only piddle on the carpet during thunderstorms or if she’s been denied the fun of humping the company’s leg.

Lou needs to scrap.
That goes without saying.

Lou needs to chill out and give these guys opportunities instead of
criticizing them.
I concede that I do need to chill, but give them opportunities? When there is mocking to be done. Riiiiight.

I think Lou needs to get some.
Obviously.