I’m Gonna Stuff Their Stockings Full Of Raid

Ok, so I had both children down for a nap yesterday afternoon at the same time, which is no small accomplishment, so I decided to take advantage of the time to wrap the Christmas presents. I have been keeping them on the top shelf of my linen closet. I opened the door to the closet, climbed up the bottom few shelves so I could reach the gifts and when I placed my hand on the top shelf I felt it immediately get covered in a huge swarm of ants. In less than a second I had the little buggers crawling all up my arm and across my chest and I began to holler for Chris to come help me as I flailed wildly about trying to shake the ants off of me and squash as many as possible.

I started to throw ant infested Christmas gifts down to Chris all the while yelling and slapping myself and trying not to wretch. He quickly threw them on the ground and watched me with a look of mild amusement and disdain that clearly said I was the most ridiculous thing he’d seen for quite some time.

A few days ago, while shopping at the commissary I had spied some cute M&M stocking stuffers, so I bought one for each of the kids, and without ever even considering the fact that we live in an anthill, tossed them up on the shelf. Fast forward to four days later, after legions of ants had been reveling in their good fortune, ululating wildly about the top shelf, land of promise and chocolatey goodness, when the humble human idiot stumbled across their little toga party and began to rein down death and destruction by way of the Raid can after slapping herself and all ant-kind silly.

You’d think I’d learn, wouldn’t you? In my defense, the candy looked like it was sealed. And I’d been forced to stash the treats very quickly, as Jonas was hot on their scent.

Amazing Human Garbage Disposal Eats Glass & Gets Free Pop

Later, we sat down to watch a film and opened some IBC black cherry pop I had picked up from the store. As I was drinking I felt something very akin to a large piece of sand in my mouth, but it went down before I could figure out what it was. In the next sip I took I found a piece of GLASS about the size of a piece of rice. I immediately called customer service where I was profusely apologized to while asked if I was ok. They will be sending replacement pop or a coupon or something in 7 to 10 business days. Meanwhile, I am waiting for any signs of internal distress that may be caused by this tiny rogue piece of glass. My life, it is full of surprises, no?

She Has A Wishlist- And Even Managed To Make It Work

A few weeks ago I added a small wishlist to the side of my blog, only to find out that it wasn’t working. After chatting with Amazon, it somehow has become functional. I have no idea what changed, but hey, I have a Christmas list! Not that I expect to get anything on the list, but still. I made it and it works and I put the code in all by myself. Aren’t I brilliant?