My Mother: She’s A Clever Old Grinch
Remember how I told you that my family never waited until Christmas morning before diving headfirst into the stack of presents under the tree? My mom tolerated this tradition. Oh, she had her fun like anyone else, but it bugged her just a tish, so one year she decided that when the Day of Unwrapping arrived, she was going to be ready.
That year was no different. It started with eleven year old Janice wheedling and needling Dad until he had very little choice but to turn to Mom with big puppy dog eyes and ask, just like Jan had been pleading, “Just one present?” Usually, it took a little work to get Mom to give in, oddly, this year she acquiesced quite quickly, only after making us promise that once we opened this gift, we’d wait for Christmas for the rest. We agreed and never suspected that the wool was being cleverly pulled over our eyes. She gave the customary, “I’ll choose the one you get to open first!” and then ran to choose three gifts from under the tree.
She had to select the gifts because we kids were so terrible about guessing and peeking and shaking that she had to devise a new code each year of how to mark the packages so that only she knew who belonged to which gift. There were many years that she would be second guessing herself as we unwrapped as she tried to remember the recipient of a certain gift. Accidents were made, but it never made anyone upset- we just tossed the unwrapped gift to it’s rightful owner and continued on.
Mom had us each sit at the table with our present and told us that we should unwrap them all at once so we didn’t spoil the surprise. My younger brother and sister tore into their gifts with rabid glee while I more delicately teased the pretty paper off of the box. Before I was done unwrapping my sister and brother had torn the paper off to reveal Uncle Ben’s Minute Rice and Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. They immediately began to tear into the boxes because my mother has a habit of wrapping gifts in whatever box is available, and those usually happen to be food boxes. As I unwrap a cake mix, Mom yells not to open the boxes because that’s really what they are.
Jan and Bernie are devastated. Bernie gets mad and Jan dissolves into tears; I start laughing and congratulate my mom on pulling a good one. I’m about fifteen years old, and the humor is not lost on me. My sister sniffles and then wails, “Of course you’re happy! At least you got cake mix!”
I’m still laughing. I can’t help it. My siblings start looking mutinous and declare that they still get to open a real present. Mom tries to hold them to their promise, but after many tears she gives in and, as usual, the gifts are all unwrapped that night.
To this day I still think it’s one of the funniest things my mother ever did. If I get the opportunity to pull something similar on my children, I will.
My mom one year, bought my brother a small video game, put it in a huge box and filled the box with can items.. He was so sure that he was getting a really big gift.. The look on his face when he realized that christmas dinner was in his box was priceless..
Comment by linda — December 17, 2005 @ 12:29 am
My family’s favorite? Either putting boxes inside boxes inside boxes…you get the idea, with the best one being finding a single pebble in the last box. Can’t remember what the actual gift was that year.
Or, wrapping the box…the *entire* box, mind you…in duct tape. Several layers of duct tape.
“At least you got cake mix!” Priceless!!
Comment by SignoraM — December 17, 2005 @ 1:39 am
That’s so funny! My daughter would probably love cake mix.
Comment by Eulallia — December 17, 2005 @ 1:53 am
One year the only thing I put on my Christmas list was a red corvette. When I opened my gift it was a yellow hot wheels corvette. And one dollar. For a paint job.
Comment by buffi — December 17, 2005 @ 6:11 am
LOL! What a great mom! My brother and I used to wrap really weird items out of the garage just to mess with each other.
You should head over and read our best Christmas story on my site. It’s one of those memorable ones too.
Comment by Sheri — December 17, 2005 @ 2:33 pm
Oh I am writing that one down for when my kids get older and more annoying FOR SURE. That’s hilarious!
Comment by Karen Rani — December 17, 2005 @ 6:57 pm
Oh my goodness, your mother is adorable. What a clever idea and truly represents what what Christmas is all about in my opinion. Thinking of ways to make each moment memorable. I’m sure that you probably don’t remember your other presents that year, but you will always remember that cake mix.
Comment by Kendra — December 17, 2005 @ 11:38 pm
Hey there - I just dropped by to say that I’m sorry I didn’t select your bid for a Blogexplosion billboard. It wasn’t anything personal, so please feel free to bid again in the future. I listed a link to everyone that bid in my post welcoming the winner, so you still got some exposure. I hope that you’ll drop by and check it out.
Peace,
P. Del Ricci - Dark Glass
Comment by P. Del Ricci — December 18, 2005 @ 4:05 pm
Hehehehe, now ya got me thinking LMAO Oh the joy!
Comment by DenimRose — December 18, 2005 @ 11:32 pm
Great story Lou, sounds like your mom had a great sense of humour.
Anyway, I’m just dropping ny everybody’s place today to wish them a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I hope you and the family have a good one.
Comment by OldGuy — December 19, 2005 @ 5:54 pm
Love It!…visiting from gigglechick
Comment by sidhewlf — December 19, 2005 @ 6:12 pm
That is definitely a good one!! Cruel… but oh so good
Comment by tj — December 19, 2005 @ 9:14 pm
My mother once bought some t-shirts, but had no boxes to put them into for wrapping, so she rolled them up very tightly, packed them into light-bulb sleeves, and then wrapped them. We were all so confused - “We got light bulbs?”
Comment by golfwidow — December 19, 2005 @ 11:19 pm
I’m visiting from gigglechick and I kind of did the same thing didn’t have a box and put my kids’ gloves and hat in a macaroni box and a cracker box one child loved the idea of mac and cheese and very disappointed when she opened it and found the gloves.
Comment by marleed — December 20, 2005 @ 4:12 pm
Cute kids!
Just popping by from Gigglechick
Comment by Jenni — December 20, 2005 @ 10:17 pm