The difference between the first child and the second child can be absolutely amazing. Jonas pushed me away and was eager to run around and be independent almost immediately. Maggie clings and cuddles and worries about strangers. Jonas was colicky and had difficulties sleeping while Maggie is calm and slept through the night so early I thought something was wrong with her. But the really stunning difference is that while child number one was El Numero Uno and Child-Extrordinaire by default, is that child number two has always had a sibling.

My mother, and many other wise people say that this results in a naturally more patient child simply because it’s impossible to dote on subsequent children with the same intensity that one does with a first. In Maggie’s case, this is certainly true, whether by nature or nurture, she is more patient. But the difference that I would like to point out, and that I feel really defines the situation, is this: Child number one gets caught playing in the toilet. Child number two gets caught playing in a yellow toilet.