Public Service Announcement
Don’t tell a woman she looks like a little kid.
Don’t tell her you thought she was 13, 16, or whatever grossly young age you thought she was.
Don’t tell her you thought her kids were her younger siblings.
Don’t tell her you think she’s your husband’s kid sister.
Don’t, when you see her out with her kids, ask her who she nannys for.
Don’t tell her you don’t believe those are really her children, and why won’t she just admit she’s the baby sitter.
A woman in her twenties doesn’t want to hear she looks too young to:
Have children
Be married
have gone to college
or whatever else you think she’s too young for.
Especially don’t make any comments about babies having babies or “I wonder what grade she was in when she got knocked up.” You just might get knocked out.
It gets old. If you think she looks young, she’s probably already heard it before.
If it’s me, she’s probably heard it twice before in just that weekend. So shut up. You’re just being rude. I don’t ask you how old you are or comment that your uncle must have been cro magun because you look like such a wrinkly old hag. I don’t crack dinosaur jokes, I don’t mention that you never get carded or that people think you’re my mother (who by the way, is younger looking and hotter than most people her age).
Unless a woman is obviously older, and would appreciate being told she looks 30 instead of 40, just leave it alone.
Public Service Announcement over.
Lou, I feel your pain. I’m constantly assumed to be younger than I really am (nearly 28). It drives me nuts! I know that someday in the future, I’ll wish people thought I was younger than I really am, but for now it just insults me–and I’m not very easily offended!
And you’re right–I’d never tell someone they looked older than they really are, so why is it somehow acceptable to do the reverse?
Comment by Heidi — April 23, 2006 @ 6:03 pm
I have to opposit problem, everyone thinks my DH is my son! I do not look old by any means and when refering to my husband as my son one lady winked and said i must have started reaaaaaal early!! I am only 6 montsh older than DH but he does have a baby face (sigh).
Comment by fidget — April 23, 2006 @ 11:53 pm
I have been reading your blog for a few months and this is the first time that I had to comment! As a person who DID get knocked up in high school, you can imagine the comments that I get, especially because I look about 10 years younger than my 32 years. I usually shut people up when they say “you don’t look old enough” by saying “I wasn’t” but I agree, no matter what the circumstances, it is rude. If you want to give a compliment, give a freaking compliment. Don’t make it a sideways insult.
Comment by Tammy — April 23, 2006 @ 11:56 pm
Gosh the stuff folks will say! It just *never* ceases to amaze me. How rude!
I am in college, a freshman and I think I look pretty mature for my age. The other day a woman asked me what grade I was in, she thought I was a middle schooler GASP!
People have some odd perceptions. Keep your head up!
-Katie
Comment by Katie Harris — April 24, 2006 @ 12:22 am
I have the same problem! I actually just posted something about that today. I am 28, almost 29, and someone that lives in my building told me that I looked 14!!!
Comment by Simba's Mom — April 24, 2006 @ 12:50 am
Oh how I feel for you, Lou! I have exactly the same problem and it’s NOT FUN, even though I’m now in my 30s. People just refuse to take me seriously. I was at my GTT last week and the nurse asked how old I was. When I said ‘36′, she turned and said, ‘26?’. Um, no. Then she went and whispered about it to her colleague.
VERRRRRY irritating.
Comment by Janine — April 24, 2006 @ 7:31 am
On my third date with my husband we went to see The Matrix. I was 20 years old and I got carded for an R-rated movie. I was terribly embarrassed.
That summer I worked at a summer camp for 5th and 6th graders. On my evening off I was “caught” by one of the male counselors who didn’t know me. He demanded to know what I was doing out of bounds and whose group I was supposed to be in. He was the one who was embarrassed after that.
Now when someone through work asks me how old I am, implying that I look young, I always answer (truthfully) and then immediately say “How old are you?” I figure if they feel it’s all right to ask me, they ought to feel all right being asked themselves.
Comment by Elizabeth — April 24, 2006 @ 4:10 pm
Oh, and now that I’m starting to look my age? I’m kind of sad about it. Ridiculous, I know.
Comment by Elizabeth — April 24, 2006 @ 4:11 pm
Oh, and I had to share: when I was about to give birth (at age 30) to James, I was the hospital ’side-show’. I had nurses pulling other nurses into my ward, saying to each other, “guess how old she is. Just guess.” Lovely.
Comment by Janine — April 24, 2006 @ 5:39 pm
Quit bitching, in 20 years you will be glad people are telling you how young you look.
Comment by 2 Peas In My Ass — April 24, 2006 @ 5:52 pm
I just stopped getting carded 5 yrs ago and I will be 45 this year. Since I wasn’t married or had children in my twenties, I don’t feel that pain, but I do remember being treated like a child all the time and not being taken seriously. Like the saying goes…you will enjoy it when you get older. It’s true.
Comment by Kim in Camas - ScrapToMyLu — April 24, 2006 @ 8:44 pm
I used to hate it that people thought I was the youngest person in any given group. Now I have to admit I kinda like it
When I was a breastfeeding counselor (last year at age 31) I would get that EVERY day! Usually every other client. Mostly it was good natured, though. Although a few punks did try to hit on me. I am usually pretty scary when I get stern though, just ask my kids. :-p hehehe
Comment by Lawanda — April 24, 2006 @ 11:12 pm
Hi! just peeking in, ol lady,lol
Lisa
Comment by Lisa — April 25, 2006 @ 1:03 am
I think that stupid people should have to have a filter placed in their head…to prevent such comments from ever exiting their mouths.
Sorry you had to endure that.
Comment by Melani — April 25, 2006 @ 1:38 am
When I was younger they thought I was older. Now that I am older I am too young. I have decided I will never be the right age. I have learned you never ask or guess age- inevitably you are wrong.
Comment by Jen — April 25, 2006 @ 8:06 pm
Besides now I should be great and I feel too old.
Comment by Jen — April 25, 2006 @ 8:08 pm
Your mom doesn’t look her age. You’re lucky to be blessed with that gene. Someday they will say you’re too young to be a grandma. Lucky you.
Comment by Jen — April 25, 2006 @ 8:13 pm
AMEN!!! You have read my mind.
Comment by Chandra — April 25, 2006 @ 8:19 pm
But Neen really does look great for her age. Or just great- Gees- there isn’t a way of not offending people.
I myself am remarkably well preserved, although I am too old to wear those weird short mid-calf pants that metal-heads and skateboarders wear.
Seriously, Lou, you look great, regardless of your age, and should ignore hurtful comments from ignorant sources.
Comment by scott — April 26, 2006 @ 7:17 pm
So I take it that you were somewhat offended by possibly a total stranger who had no history of you and just struck up a conversation. Maybe it was several people in one day, all day wherever you went. How insensitive. Could it possibly have been allll that bad. Just smile and say “Thank you”
Don’t let other peoples comments determin your day, who cares. Your cute, and your kids are cute. Do you really want to look your age?????
I personally love it when someone says, “you look so young to be a GRANDMA” It all comes out in the wash.
Comment by Soli — April 27, 2006 @ 12:05 am
Just yesterday, I heard two women talking as they passed my kids and I playing on the porch outside. One says to the other “Is that their Mama?” And the other looks at her like she’s a big dope, and says, “No! That’s their big sister!” It actually made me feel pretty good. On a non-related subject, I’m still waiting for you to tell us about your experiences with cloth diapers!
Comment by Libby — April 27, 2006 @ 12:12 am