You Can’t Make Crap Like This Up; The Life As Lou Overshare Of The Year
You know how usually when you get sick, you feel it coming on? You have a day or two of feeling not quite right, and then it hits? That’s not how the stomach bug I got yesterday was. I was half way through getting ready for church when out of no where, my guts exploded, and I went in an instant from “feeling good” to “someone please peel me off of the bathroom floor.” Seriously. Fevers spiked, intestines moaned, and the worst migraine I’ve had in years hit in about five seconds flat.
So you could say that yesterday wasn’t a very good day. . I haven’t gotten bugs like this since I was a little kid, but apparently since I now live with two darling disease carrying children, I get to catch everything they bring home. Such an advertisement for motherhood!
But something very funny happened yesterday. Something that just may take the disgusting slapstick routine cake. If you have a weak stomach, I suggest you stop reading, but for those of you morbidly curious enough to wonder what happened yesterday, here you go.
You know how when you’ve got the trots you discover that time is truly of the essence? Well, yesterday I was in the living room when it hit me that my guts were about to blow, so I took off at breakneck speed to the bathroom, buttocks clenched, because I knew it was only a matter of seconds.
The bathroom was crowded with Chris and Maggie and I dodged them both, heading to the toilet. I would have made it too, had it not been for the huge puddle of water on the floor. The second my feet hit that puddle, my legs flew up over my head and I landed flat on my back, with Chris catching my head at the last second. Not surprisingly, bowel control isn’t something that comes easily when you find yourself flying through the air, and as I fell back to the hard tile floor, mine gave way, and I now know how it must feel to wear a diaper. It feels gross.
And yet, while laying on the bathroom floor, covered in bruises and sick while Chris asked me what the heck I was doing, I had to laugh, because really, it was hysterical. As disgusting as my predicament was, seriously, you can’t make crap like this up, and so I laughed about it for the rest of the day. And when you’re puking your guts out and glued to the toilet, having something to laugh about is a good thing.






Oh my God. I am glad that you have a sense of humor because I might just have died. I recently finished chemo and this was one of my top fears! I hope you are feeling better. Your husband must really love you… LOL.
Comment by Tammy — June 12, 2006 @ 8:17 pm
Ouch! I hope you are feeling better!
Comment by msdramateacherlady — June 12, 2006 @ 9:13 pm
So I take it you only have 1 bathroom at your house??? This was very “slapstick of you” and to add the poo. I totally believe you. I think you need to come up with a signal. MAKE WAY FOR THE CRAZY WOMAN.
Comment by Soli — June 13, 2006 @ 2:42 am
Oh Lou, I’m so sorry……but it does sound pretty funny. I hope you’re feeling better. Hopefully the kiddos won’t be getting it.
Comment by Kim — June 13, 2006 @ 3:10 am
A Hearty LOL! I needed a pick me up today. Thanks for being it! Somedays you just can’t believe what happens can you. Good thing Chris has good reflexes or you’d have a bruised head to go with the sickies. Take care!
Comment by Jen — June 13, 2006 @ 7:54 pm
I am sooo sorry but I am laughing my butt off over here at your story!! Poor you lol
Comment by ChaCha — June 13, 2006 @ 10:36 pm
You make me laugh out loud, Lou! I’m glad you found the situation funy right away.
Comment by Sanisi — June 14, 2006 @ 10:53 am
OH POOR POOR YOU!!! LOL
Ok, you are good, you laugh at yourself even in the now :-p
I am sorry you were sick though!
Hope you are feelin much better now!
Comment by Lawanda — June 14, 2006 @ 11:47 am
Hilarious! So brave of you to share it with the rest of us. But, oh how gross!
Comment by great day — June 15, 2006 @ 3:07 am