Freedom of expression, man. That is what this country is founded on, and I believe in it. That is why I hand my children blank paper and a massive box of crayons or paint. Oh, they have a few coloring books with pretty pictures- but my kids tend to disregard the art that is already there and they work around or over it. I want them to create something for them. They can draw anything they want - no rules, no limits, no cookie cutter required. I believe that art doesn’t have rules and limits- you can use any mixture of medias that you feel like and staying in the lines- totally unnecessary and frankly, stifling. I give my kids art supplies and say, “Make something.” I don’t say “color me a cat.” I say, ‘Draw how you feel”- and they do. I see monsters and rainbows and flowers and self portraits. I have never told my children to stay in the lines. It feels wrong.

Enter Kindergarten: the first step in creating a lovely, uniform, homogenize the creativity right out of them world.

Jonas is in trouble because he scribbles the coloring sheets. He does this ( I assume)

A: because it’s depressingly mundane to use one color crayon on an entire sheet. My children are color nuts- the more shades available, the better. If every picture on the page is meant to be colored with one color- why make the distinction between white space and not? Why not just do a flood fill of the entire page?

B: He’s in a hurry. Coloring a single page with one crayon isn’t particularly engaging, so he rushes to get on to the next thing.

Today his teacher made him color the same page 3 times. The last one you can see that he is still scribbling pretty fast, but he has finally made the three blue objects into three distinct blue blobs. This earned a star. He got a star because it’s boring and “correct”. It’s KILLING me.

Yes, I totally understand that he is five and that it is advisable to learn the rules before you break them. I get that learning to color in the lines increases his motor ability to hold a pencil and thereby helps him learn to write. I see the value in all of this- it just beats against my soul.

We got home from school and I printed out online coloring pages. I explained the coloring in neat little circles method of crayon use and explained that when the picture is already on the page, we try to stay in the lines, but when we have a blank paper- we can do whatever we want. I felt like a traitor.

Now, were it me presented with a coloring page, I would probably start thinking about glueing little Q-tip horns on Dora or Big Bird and consider what a coating of shellac could add and what I could use this inane picture to say- but Jonas is five. He is not me.

Why do I feel so assaulted? His teacher tells me he was shoving and I’m totally with her on stopping that. This is in no way a “I think my little prince is perfect” thing. I know he’s got a lot of learning to do and I know first hand that he has mastered being a little stinker. So why am I so ruffled? Why do I feel like I’m helping someone squash the creativity right out of him? And why do I worry that is even possible? Can art be squashed? I suppose, so- but really - if it is in you to express yourself artistically- you will do it. You will paint on cave walls or sing arias herding sheep, I have come to find that most of the creative people I have met can’t help it, it kind of oozes from their pores like incandescent light demanding to be seen.

What can I do to help his classroom have an art program? How can I deal with this productively? Do I even have the energy to do anything? Am I just totally insane?