Mfsnurkgak: Or School Trouble And Lots Of It.
Hey,
Jonas (5 with a June birthday, class cut off Dec) is really having trouble in school. We are pretty sure that it is more of a focus and behavior issue than a learning disability. Jonas has been an exceptional child since he was 1. He has done speech therapy and we have been to child psychologists up the wazoo. The best they can give me is that he is just in the 10% of the population that is more intense. So he is very challenging- but still very sweet with a loving and good heart. His testing is coming back horrid- but at home I can get him to prove to me that he does indeed know the stuff the teachers can’t test out of him.
I have gotten the ball rolling on a few evaluations that will start after Thanksgiving break, but when I started to talk to his teacher today - the first words out of her mouth were “do you want to start the retention process.” This made me feel like she just wanted me to yank him out so she didn’t have to deal with him.
Now, when he left preschool they said he was ready for K. And this teacher has a very odd personality. She also has 5 stinker kids in a class of 20- so her hands are very full and I don’t think that it is possible for her to truly serve all of these kids’ best interest. From her immediate jump from me about to ask for intervention to asking if I wanted to pull him out and try again next year- well, I just get the impression that this is what SHE would prefer to do- and it would be really bad for my kid.
On top of that, I am hearing that the teacher has been yelling at the students. Parent volunteers and my own kid have told me this.
So. what do I do? I think what I want to see happen is for him to be switched into another class with a totally new teacher at semester time. And then I want him to finish out the year and move onto 1st grade- at that point- if he needs another year of 1st grade I would want to repeat him then- my reasoning is that this is the year they really focus on reading- I’d rather have him do that twice than colors, shapes and letter recognition- he knows most of that- he just won’t cooperate. Plus, we will be moving at the end on the following school year, so if he needed to do 1st over- he would be doing it in a totally different place so it wouldn’t feel like all of his friends were moving on w/o him.
So tell me- what do I do?
Oh- ok mid writing this I called and chatted with the principal. He wants to go ahead with the evaluations and have the school counselor work with him a bit. He sounded totally opposed to switching teachers- and this “Student Study” evaluation thing, yeah, they are so backed up that they will be getting to that AFTER CHRISTMAS. Seriously. Now I’m kicking myself for not going in there two days into school.
Want to pull my hair out.
And- Jonas had food coloring yesterday. A whole ICEE full of red dye, courtesy of Chris, the day before a week long break from school. I’m so beat I didn’t put a verb in that last sentence. Hara-kiri here I come!
Guide me, oh internet.
leah, contact the school and find out how to get him an IEP.. Also request that the school provide an aide for him.. Sounds like Jonas needs one on one with a teacher and with an aide he would get that because she or he would keep him focused and he would coorporate.. Trust me, we go through the same thing..
Comment by linda — November 17, 2007 @ 4:45 pm
Coming from a soon to be teacher, I agree with Linda. Your reasoning was right on with when to hold him back IF you needed to, but if you could get him an IEP, that may help enough to prevent that. The teacher has NO CHOICE but to help him if he has one. Good luck with everything!
Comment by Nina D — November 17, 2007 @ 6:00 pm
I think the “Student Survey” the principal mentioned is the first step to getting your son an IEP (Individual Education Program) if they deem that he needs one. At the school I used to teach at, we called them IEP meetings, and the teachers usually were the ones to sign up to have a meeting when they thought a student was having difficulty in some area. I am not sure how it works where you live (I was up near Chicago) but it’s a long process and our parents were usually involved in the meeting to discuss what they feel the child needs. Our schedule for getting a meeting going was usually a long wait, as it sounds like yours is too. My suggestion to you is to write down all of your concerns as you think of them because there will probably be a team of people in the room to discuss your son and you will want to talk about some issues yourself, I’m sure. I was always required to have a long list of things recorded that I could share with members of the team. As for switching teachers, the principal at my school never let children switch either. I think she assumed that if she let one do it, she would have to let all children switch if they didn’t like their teacher. Kind of a bummer if your child has a crappy teacher, but it’s probably true.
Good luck with all of this! Hopefully they are able to come up with a solution that helps your son.
Comment by Nicole — November 17, 2007 @ 6:43 pm
My son has similar difficulty paying attention, even in fourth grade now. We’ve battled it since first grade–it’s not ADHD or anything–just him. My younger sister refused to pay attention and was failing. They finally figured out that she was bored. I suspect the same with my son.
We are now trying homeschooling–a bit hard with six children, but if you were to work with your son during the half day he is home (if he is in half-day kindergarten), you could see now if that would benefit him.
Your plan sounds good. The school my children were at refused to switch teachers, too. (Just school policy.) If his teacher is yelling, I would pull him out. I should have done so with my oldest daughter in second grade when her teacher would humiliate and verbally tear down the students in front of their peers, but I lacked the knowledge and confidence in my ability to teach my own children. If I knew then what I know now, things might have been different.
Do a little research on homeschooling. The book that convinced me to give it a try was, “The Well Trained Mind” by Jessie Wise and Susan Wise Bauer. (Your local library might have it.) There are many, many other resources in libraries and on the Internet.
Perhaps you struggle together, then put him back in school when you move.
Good luck! Email me if you’d like more info.
Comment by Mom2Six — November 17, 2007 @ 7:09 pm
Hmmm I like how you said 10% of the population that is more intense. My son sound exactly like your son. In fact, I thought you had written a post about him!!
My son is in Grade 1 now, and we are struggling, and continuing to work with the school on whether or not he will repeat grade 1, or contnue onto grade 2. His bigger problem, not learning, is that he socially has trouble. The decision for a child is always difficult. You in your gut knows what is right!
Comment by Charlene — November 17, 2007 @ 8:20 pm
It’s really not the worse thing in the world to be retained from kindergarten. My son did, and it was the best decision. He is doing so so so great this year. He just needed to be a little older so he could figure out how to learn. Another year made all the difference.
Comment by shaina — November 18, 2007 @ 8:28 am
Lou it sounds to me like they just don’t want to deal with him. I think they should be willing to let him switch teachers, maybe her personalitity just doesn’t click with his. I had this happen with my son in second grade. You may need to go to the Superintendent with this.
Comment by Annette — November 18, 2007 @ 9:59 am
I really hope Jonas can switch classes. It sounds like he’s learning, but the teacher can’t handle so many ‘intense’ students.
I don’t understand the food coloring deal, though. ???
Comment by Sanisi — November 18, 2007 @ 12:16 pm
I seriously think that no K teacher should have to yell at her students for any reason, that is only showing that she cannot deal with her students, and needs a new teaching style or assistance in the classroom. I think it’s important that you stick it out and go with the IEP. That at least formulates a plan for him, and puts the motion in for extra help in the classroom for Jonas if necessary. It is not always a terrible thing that a child has to repeat a grade for not being able to keep up with their peers, but for kids that already know the things they are being kept back for, it can make it even more boring and unfulfilling for them. It wouldn’t hurt to spend some extra one on one time with him reviewing classwork at home, that may be the place he is most comfortable expressing himself in. Just follow your heart as a Mom, you will always be acting in his best interest.
Comment by Roxanne — November 18, 2007 @ 5:08 pm
You might want to look at this post at SchwabLearning, on positive behavioral plans.
I also wonder if Jonas is exhibiting problems with “executive function”. See this factsheet from NCLD and this wonderful collection from School Behavior..
If you are entering the IEP process, I strongly recommend that you read the resources at Wrightslaw, and if he indeed is offered an IEP, purchase and study From Emotions to Advocacy..
If you suspect that Jonas has issues with reading, I highly recommend the resources from Susan Barton — Bright Solutions and The Barton Reading and Spelling System. There are wonderful videos of Barton’s presentations on dyslexia and how it affects kids globally at the Bright Solutions site.
Let me know if there’s anything else I can help you with.
Comment by Liz Ditz — November 19, 2007 @ 9:00 am
I’m pretty much dittoing your entire post about my Cameron. I think we ARE gonna try a teacher switch, and waiting until the semester is a good call. Like you, he’ll continue on to 1st grade next year and if he needs to repeat, he’ll do it then. I don’t think this teacher yells (and it’s horrid that yours does!) but she’s completely disorganized and I think he feels that. Good luck!
Comment by Amie — November 20, 2007 @ 8:47 am