Chris and I are embarking on a new “family time” strategy, because the old strategy of “we’ll just fit that in as it comes along” was, frankly, a load of unproductive hooey.
Now, the past year has been a doozy, and there have been so many days when we have been so spent it has been all we could do to hole up in front of our respective screens (my computer, his television) and hide in our little zones of interaction free safety. There have been too many evenings that felt more like throwing vittles to tiger cubs and then hiding from them as they rambunctiously tore through the house than happy, positive family interaction. And it finally drove me crazy. Thank heaven!
We have decided that between 4:30 and 8:00 (ish of course, this really means “when Chris gets home to when the kids go to bed”) there will be no television on. The internet is off limits. We will eat together, play together, do stuff together. Now, it isn’t going to be all fun and games. There are errands to run, dinner to cook, commitments to keep; life goes on. But hopefully we will be more present. We will have more time for each other and not get caught in the selfish, unhappy habit of zoning out of life, because this life we’re zoning out of? It’s pretty great. We have awesome kids. We have an awesome relationship. Let’s live it, eh?
In this focusing on each other time I really hope that the kids learn to love family time, right now when they are little so that when they are older they will still think home is a fun place to be, not a place to escape from or just a place to sleep. Of course, we have always played with our children and loved them. They know we think they are pretty cool people, but by increasing the time we spend really with them, I hope we will gain more cohesiveness. I hope that we will become closer. I hope that Jonas will get this positive interaction and that it will make him happier and more secure and less likely to act out. I hope it brings the Spirit into our home because we have turned off the world and turned on what is really important.
Yesterday was our first official night of this. We had dinner and Chris and Jonas played outside with a frisbee. Jonas had been a huge helper throughout the day (cleaned his whole room and tidied the house too!) I told him that I would let him choose a toy, so I took him to the store. When we left the BX, Jonas saw the dark sky and exclaimed, ‘Oh no! You made me miss playing with Dad!” Telling, no? We went home and played cards for awhile before bed, and then tonight Jonas and Chris got to play frisbee again. Tonight the children listened to me play my guitar and sing, I am grateful they are blissfully young enough not to be critical of my very limited skills, or lack thereof.
I have been doing a lot of reading and pondering on motherhood lately. Now, I know that I’m not doing a terrible job. My children are reasonably happy, learning, healthy, spoiled, and they absolutely know that they are loved. We spend time with them. We take them to church. We give them opportunity to develop relationships with extended family. We are an ok family, doing alright. But I don’t want to do alright. I want to do the best I can and I feel very limited and humbled by my own inadequacy.
I really feel that people who don’t take family very, very seriously in this day and age will lose them, whether through divorce, children making stupid choices, or people just being spiritually and emotionally empty. To truly have a strong family requires a mother who catches the vision of her role, who does not demean herself by being less than she is, and who does everything that she can to magnify this sacred calling and gift. It isn’t easy. Motherhood at its most basic is a tough row to hoe, but I am firm in my belief that as mothers, we are entitled to all of the blessings of Heaven that our task requires. After all, it is His children we are raising, not our own. Heavenly Father wants us to succeed, and He will always give us the strength and intelligence required to best serve our babies. He will also show us the way when we realize that we could be doing better. So we keep trying. We keep moving forward, and we do a little better each day. That’s all we really need to do.
Posted by Lou on February 29, 2008 @ 8:37 pm | 8 Comments
So I have been busy folks! The good thing is, I like busy. Busy means I don’t have to think too much, I just have to keep moving. I have made six layouts and seven cards for a really cool new group of dies that Quickutz is coming out with very soon! I wish I could show them off, but, alas, I cannot. They are still top secret. Trust me though, when you see them, the scrapper in you will want them.
I have cleaned the house several times (and it is messy again! Wow! The gift that keeps giving!).
I have done lots of ordering and planning for work, gone to many appointments, gone to the temple and church, prepared classes, mailed stuff, got new contacts yesterday, working on genealogy, and answering approximately 100 e-mails a day. I kid you not, and I do not include spam-a-rama-ding-dong in that list, only legit e-mails that need my eyes.
Throughout all of this, there is of course parenting. I am once again trying to potty train Maggie. Maggie will sit on the potty cheerfully for hours- and then pee the second I take her off. Do I just keep waiting? I really don’t think she is the type of person who you can force to do anything that she doesn’t want to do, but man, I would really like to be done with the diapers! Maggie is also having some fluid in her ear, fluid that is causing pain that is causing a serious lack of sleep at my house. We’ve been to the ER. The ear isn’t infected. . .yet. And it might not ever be, so for now we do motrin and ear drops, and I think she is doing better. I hope, I hope, I hope.
Today I am remarkably unfocused, and I’m not getting a whole lot accomplished. I really need to spend an hour (or five) on the house. I do not understand how it falls apart so quickly.
Posted by Lou on February 27, 2008 @ 12:58 pm | 5 Comments
Conventional wisdom says I should have posted this on Valentine’s Day, for which it was made. Really, for our relationship, I should have posted it on President’s Day, which is the anniversary of us deciding to go steady, in other words, the origin of us, or the temporary lapse of insanity that started it all. At any rate. It’s true. I love him.
Posted by Lou on February 23, 2008 @ 9:04 am | 6 Comments
I have a rule that I always have followed. That rule is, no matter what a kid is hocking on the sidewalk, be it watered down Kool-Aide, pet rocks, or girl scout cookies, I buy it. To me, this is a way that I celebrate childhood and encourage the future entrepreneurs of America to sally forth. It gives happy karma. Good vibes, mojo, juju- whatever you want to call it, it is just the right thing to do.
Today I broke my rule.
We were headed off of the base when I spied two little girls set up on the curbside with a for sale sign. I came to a screeching halt (this was not a pedestrian area) rolled down my window and started mentally counting the change and small bills in my wallet. The girls looked very hopeful and excited that finally someone had stopped to check out their wares. Then I saw the sign: Baby Guinea Pigs For Sale $15. I kid you not.
I had to drive away. I have no need for a baby guinea pig right now, aside from as cat food. While I’m sure Lissy would enjoy a little “pig tartare” practicality forced me to smile and say, “I’ll think about it.” Which I did. With a big resounding NO at the end of every thought.
I must say, I am very grateful my children can’t read.
Posted by Lou on February 21, 2008 @ 9:34 pm | 6 Comments
Aren’t these Cogsmo papers and blackboard by Cosmo Cricket too much! I rarely go for super boyish, themed products- but I had to have these!
I couldn’t believe how quickly this layout came toegther. I’m usually the type who agonizes over everything, but this was pure playtime! That robot was super fun to decorate. I used stamps with white ink, rubons, paint, craft ink, white pen, black pen, and stamps with paint. Seriously Too Much Fun! I have been wanting to scrap Jonas and his Super Active Robots for a few montsh now, so this line couldn’t have been more perfect!
Posted by Lou on February 20, 2008 @ 4:33 pm | 6 Comments
This album is combining the best of Disneyland (my sweet princess Maggie) and the best of CHA- Free Cosmo Cricket paper and blackboard samples! I must say I love this line. I added the gold with metallic gold rubons (the old pot of gold gunk- not the new scrapbook rubons). It is such a great look with the new black chipboard! If you want the story behind the princess costume, you will need to squint hard or click the photos to embiggen them so you can read the journaling.
Posted by Lou on February 18, 2008 @ 9:25 pm | 11 Comments
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