Chris and I are embarking on a new “family time” strategy, because the old strategy of “we’ll just fit that in as it comes along” was, frankly, a load of unproductive hooey.

Now, the past year has been a doozy, and there have been so many days when we have been so spent it has been all we could do to hole up in front of our respective screens (my computer, his television) and hide in our little zones of interaction free safety. There have been too many evenings that felt more like throwing vittles to tiger cubs and then hiding from them as they rambunctiously tore through the house than happy, positive family interaction. And it finally drove me crazy. Thank heaven!

We have decided that between 4:30 and 8:00 (ish of course, this really means “when Chris gets home to when the kids go to bed”) there will be no television on. The internet is off limits. We will eat together, play together, do stuff together. Now, it isn’t going to be all fun and games. There are errands to run, dinner to cook, commitments to keep; life goes on. But hopefully we will be more present. We will have more time for each other and not get caught in the selfish, unhappy habit of zoning out of life, because this life we’re zoning out of? It’s pretty great. We have awesome kids. We have an awesome relationship. Let’s live it, eh?

In this focusing on each other time I really hope that the kids learn to love family time, right now when they are little so that when they are older they will still think home is a fun place to be, not a place to escape from or just a place to sleep. Of course, we have always played with our children and loved them. They know we think they are pretty cool people, but by increasing the time we spend really with them, I hope we will gain more cohesiveness. I hope that we will become closer. I hope that Jonas will get this positive interaction and that it will make him happier and more secure and less likely to act out. I hope it brings the Spirit into our home because we have turned off the world and turned on what is really important.

Yesterday was our first official night of this. We had dinner and Chris and Jonas played outside with a frisbee. Jonas had been a huge helper throughout the day (cleaned his whole room and tidied the house too!) I told him that I would let him choose a toy, so I took him to the store. When we left the BX, Jonas saw the dark sky and exclaimed, ‘Oh no! You made me miss playing with Dad!” Telling, no? We went home and played cards for awhile before bed, and then tonight Jonas and Chris got to play frisbee again. Tonight the children listened to me play my guitar and sing, I am grateful they are blissfully young enough not to be critical of my very limited skills, or lack thereof.

I have been doing a lot of reading and pondering on motherhood lately. Now, I know that I’m not doing a terrible job. My children are reasonably happy, learning, healthy, spoiled, and they absolutely know that they are loved. We spend time with them. We take them to church. We give them opportunity to develop relationships with extended family. We are an ok family, doing alright. But I don’t want to do alright. I want to do the best I can and I feel very limited and humbled by my own inadequacy.

I really feel that people who don’t take family very, very seriously in this day and age will lose them, whether through divorce, children making stupid choices, or people just being spiritually and emotionally empty. To truly have a strong family requires a mother who catches the vision of her role, who does not demean herself by being less than she is, and who does everything that she can to magnify this sacred calling and gift. It isn’t easy. Motherhood at its most basic is a tough row to hoe, but I am firm in my belief that as mothers, we are entitled to all of the blessings of Heaven that our task requires. After all, it is His children we are raising, not our own. Heavenly Father wants us to succeed, and He will always give us the strength and intelligence required to best serve our babies. He will also show us the way when we realize that we could be doing better. So we keep trying. We keep moving forward, and we do a little better each day. That’s all we really need to do.