This Is Only A Test
Filed in: air force, Me
The air force base that I live on plays revelry at 7 am, The Star Spangled banner at 4:30, and retreat at 10:00pm. These are the sounds by which I measure my day, and like Pavlov’s dog, play the right tune and I’ll salivate on cue.
Today someone played the Star Spangled Banner at 3:30.
So immediately I’m thinking, “Whew- my day is nearly over and Chris is almost home and I might just make it to dinner without losing my mind after all. . .” and then a half an hour later I look at the clock and it is barely 4:00! I wondered for a few seconds if I might actually be losing it, so I called Chris at work to verify that I did, indeed hear the music and I wasn’t crazy. He confirmed that I, although of questionable sanity, did hear the music, and that quite a few people at work were confused and jumping at the bit to go home.
In addition to this, the Giant Voice System on base was going off like CRAZY today. The GVS is a huge broadcasting system to report drills and actual emergencies occurring on base. It has only gone off for a real issue once during the four years I’ve lived here, but it has gone off many, many times for drills and exercises. Now, you must understand, the GVS is broadcasted out of two separate towers- and there is a two second lag time between the towers, and I live directly in the center of these voices, so it sounds pretty garbled. I always spend the first few seconds trying to figure out what is being said, and opening the window so it sounds more clear. In addition to this, like most of the residents here, I tend to ignore the GVS all together unless something sounds interesting because they spend so much time crying wolf for exercises that I just assume nothing relevant to me is being said. After all, if we’re being bombed by terrorists or in the middle of a tornado, I’ll probably notice right? Does anything less than actual mayhem deserve my full attention? Any seasoned mother will tell you no.
I did not know there was a drill going on today when I arrived at the base on the way home from some errands. So when I drove through the security checkpoint mid- announcement and all I caught was that the base had just experienced an earthquake and to remain calm, stay indoors and call such and such to report any damage, I believed it. And it made me mad.
You see, I have been waiting for years to experience an earthquake. Here I am, a mere sixty miles from Earthquake Central on the other side of the Bay, and I haven’t ever felt the Earth move. I’ve tacked down bric-a-brac, safety mounted pictures to the walls and have a reasonable amount of emergency preparedness stuff at my fingertips, just in case. I am so ready. Mind you, I’d be content with a minor aftershock or a really small quake; I have no desire to experience The Big One, but I’m ready for it.
So when I hear that we just had a quake, and I somehow didn’t feel it I’m all, “WHAT THE HECK! Four years of waiting to feel an earthquake and I somehow miss it! NOT FAIR!” Which would be fine to think inside your head where no one can hear you, but I actually said it out loud to the gate guard who was checking my ID. He didn’t make much comment, so I drove toward home looking for signs of damage and there is nothing. “This just figures,” I’m muttering, wondering if I should call Chris to see if he felt it. Then I realize that he’s in Sacramento on a detail, so he has no idea. I’ll have to tell him later I think, probably shouldn’t call while he’s trying to bury someone.
A few minutes later the voice system comes on again, and as I whip open the window I hear that the main water supply on base has been contaminated and the main water main has broken. We are to drink bottled water until this is remedied. I’m all, ooookay then, maybe I’ll need to stock up on that before everyone cleans out the commissary since I dumbly let my five year old swipe all of my bottled water that I had stockpiled a year ago in case The Big One really did hit. I’m trying to figure out the easiest way to pack everyone into the car for a grocery run when I hear the words “EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE” being shouted after the announcement. Suddenly things start falling into place.
This is all a test. A few minutes later the earthquake announcement is repeated and this time I catch that this too is merely a practice for the real deal. I put my shoes on and head outside with Maggie amid shouted orders of “Remain indoors! Secure your areas!” As I walk to the school to pick Jonas up, I once again tune out the crackly diatribe, doggedly going about my day as if no one is announcing doom and gloom. There are children to hold, laundry to fold, meals to prepare and always work to be done. I can’t help but reflect on how this goofy exercise so closely mirrors reality; there are warnings, misery and evil on every side, and humanity blunders on, doing the small and simple things that keep us sane, and root us in the ordinary.
Ah, base life. I remember all that nonsense from my childhood—especially the stupid canned music every morning!
I can’t believe you’ve never felt an earthquake! I guess that’s one of the stereotypes people have about California—kind of like my New England relatives saying things like, “I’m not coming to Minnesota—it’s always winter there!” But I have to say that the possibility of earthquakes (and volcanoes…) makes me a bit nervous about moving to Washington…
Comment by Mome-rath — May 8, 2008 @ 5:29 am
life is about life. fact that we must face while we a alive.
Comment by tanakwagu — May 8, 2008 @ 6:41 am
Not sure you meant that to be funny, but it cracked me up!
I love the Giant Voice System! ;}
Comment by Margarite — May 8, 2008 @ 6:49 am
I felt the same way when it played a hour earlier!!Glad I am not the only one!!
Comment by Kara — May 9, 2008 @ 12:54 pm
ahhh, this takes me back to my 6 years in the Air Force. I was actually forced to spend most of my time on Army Posts (thanks to my job) and this sort of crap happened all the time. It can be highly annoying.
Comment by Esther — May 10, 2008 @ 6:59 am
Hey,
Nice site, i think I am clear, but some more detail more be great thanks.
Weight Training tips and more
Comment by weight training tips — May 18, 2008 @ 3:41 pm