The Battle For Number Two
I am hunkered down in the trenches here, engaged in a battle to the death with the stubbornest three year old I’ve ever met. She has given a peace offering and acquiesced to my demands that she pee in the potty, but she is holding out for her right to mess a perfectly good diaper with the dreaded Number Two.
I am not an uncompromising enemy. I have offered many gifts, freedoms and a fair share in the spoils of war if she will make stinkers in the potty even one time. There is a princess doll taped to the towel rack. She knows she gets a trip to the Disney Store complete with new shoes and a Tinkerbell toy just for surrendering one bowel movement to the toilet.
We took her to the bathroom several times at the mall last night, my forces braving the germ factor of the public bathroom in an attempt to align her will with the poop and promise of free toys from the store below. Finally, the mall closed and we returned home, our enemy screaming all the way about the “SHOOOOOOOES and the Tinkerbeeeeeeel TOOOOY.” We negotiated terms. We resisted her cunning plot to restructure our terms to include toys for number one. We’ve already fought and bought that battle. It is down to the poop.
She woke up three times last night screaming about the toy and the shoes. We countered again with the poop bargain. No dice. It’s getting to be a long battle, but even in the throes of enemy sleep torture, I will not relent.
This morning all we hear about is going to the store and getting the toy. All she hears back is, “Pleeeease, please poop on the potty and then we will take you to the store, buy you sparkly shoes and fancy Tinkerbell toys, and this can end.” She shakes her head as if to say, “Dear woman, you just don’t understand. Life, liberty and the pursuit of poop on my terms are the goals, and I am prepared to make these sacrifices.
I fight dirty and take her diaper off so she has no choice but to hold it or go outside a diaper. She never misses the potty with number one, but as before she can hold two until she is doubled over in pain, until she finds her zen-place where the poop no longer matters, until she falls asleep five hours later and then her body relaxes enough to eliminate. It has been an ugly battle, one that has caused me to retreat on many occasions. I came prepared this time. In my arsenal is a bottle of prune juice. She WILL poop.
I am confident that if she can get over this hurdle even once, she will gain enough courage to keep it up. She loves to sit on the potty, loves to flush, but is completely freaked out by the actual elimination process. The first few times she peed, she screamed the entire time, then, upon finding herself alive afterward, laughed, wiped and flushed. It only took a few times, and now she’s confident. So really, just one good poop could be the key to my victory.
I must sign off for now, as the battle requires my attention.
Hey, are you looking for completely unsolicited advice? My son is autistic and had sensory issues that made him scared of doing #2 in the potty, though he could do #1 like a champ. Once we got to the point where we knew he had complete control, we set aside a weekend for reaching that goal.
His reward was M&M’s and they were in view (though out of reach), we talked about them a lot! First poop, then M&M’s… It had to be something he could have right away, any time of day, every time.
Then, changed into big boy pants and set a timer. Ever 20 minutes, all day, he had to go sit for 5 minutes. By the third hour he was sick of it and by the end of the day he was done. Haven’t had an accident since (though we are still weening him off the M&M’s several months later). Not a miracle cure, just wore him down.
Hope you have success soon!
Comment by Meg — May 28, 2008 @ 2:30 pm
I wish i had some advice for you but sadly I do not. I was lucky enough to be one of the ones that didn’t have the problem with number two…mine was with the whole process! I spent two weeks not going anywhere with her while she was running around in her birthday suit before she would relent and go number one. After that, two was not a problem. I hope it is not so long with you.
I hear ALOT of kids have this same problem. I would read up (like you usually do) on some tips and tricks. I hope the internet has some good advice for you. Good luck, but don’t give in! It is totally worth it in the end!
Comment by Nina D — May 28, 2008 @ 3:16 pm
I love you humorous take on potty training. Like Meg, I have a 5 year old with Autism. We are still in the throes of the Poo Wars, but I think that Friendly forces are prevailing.
P.S. I hear ya on the sleep-pooing. So. Not. Cool.
Comment by Azul — May 28, 2008 @ 7:49 pm
Oh my, this made me giggle. Sadly, we are engaged in the same battle of the bowel movement at my house. My little guy has resorted to holding it in so long, medication is needed. No toy or trinket is appealing enough to drop a poop in the potty. Stay strong, comrade, LOL!
Comment by Debbie — May 28, 2008 @ 8:09 pm
Good luck. She should give in eventually. Stay strong.
Comment by Sanisi — May 29, 2008 @ 11:29 pm
i had the same problem. as gross as i thought it would be i went with the pediatrician’s recommendation and used mineral oil. it got her going enough to know that it is not a big deal and it will not hurt (and it no longer does) and she is completely off the mineral oil and she does it when she is ready and has no problems. good luck
Comment by heather — May 30, 2008 @ 5:09 pm
Good luck to you! I’ve been in similar battles with my kids–we are still fighting my four-year-old (who was perfectly potty-trained until we moved several months ago…but that is another story).
Just an idea, comment, or whatever you want to call it: I had some that would only go in the little training potty–the splash was just too much for them, even though they loved to flush. It was a start anyway.
I hope you win soon.
Comment by Mom2Six — June 5, 2008 @ 1:44 pm