You Ever Wish Someone Would Ask You What You’re Doing Just So You Could Answer. . .
cleaning up bloodstains. . .
all nonchalantly. . .
like . . .
yeah, here at the Godfather’s house. . .
these things happen. . .
Jonas had a major bloody nose- and even though he ran from the couch to the bathroom- well- it looks like murder in here.
He started bleeding in the living room, so he ran, dripping all the way, to the downstairs bathroom. He trashed it. There is blood all over the toilet and sink and floor, so I send him upstairs with his shirt wrapped around his face, beseeching him NOT to drip on my carpets, but to go get in the tub.
I clean up the half bath and all of the drips on the main floor and the sofa. This takes about twenty minutes, but I’m not complaining because finally I don’t have carpeting to worry about downstairs. Wood floors are so easy to clean! I can hear him in the tub upstairs, and assume all is well.
I go upstairs where I find another trail of blood leading me not into his bathroom, but MINE. There is blood on my bedding (which is on the floor because my sheets are in the dryer from Maggie sweating all over them last night), there is blood in my carpet, in the master bath toilet, on the floor and I open the shower door to see a bath tub that is bright red and full of water.
I’m seriously expecting to find him passed out in the bloody tub- that is how much blood there is!
I followed the bloody trail to his bathroom, which also looks like a crime scene, and he is standing in another tub full of blood. It is smeared on the walls, the floor, the toilet, all over him. . . it’s like Carrie at the prom.
There have been neater axe murders than what I’m dealing with.
So I ‘m on my hands and knees with a rag trying to get up all this gore before it sets into the carpet forever. I am very pregnant. I am also very full since I just gorged myself on Mexican food about an hour ago. I feel like a bloated, beached whale. I scrub, scrub, scrub. . . contraction. . . scrub scrub scrub. . .contraction.
Forty minutes people. It takes 40 minutes to clean it all up.
Unbelievable.
Wow - I admire you and your stamina during your pregnancy!
Comment by Erika M — December 11, 2008 @ 5:14 pm
Wood floors are definitely a good first step. Maybe next you’ll invest in some child-nostril-sized corks?
Or maybe you should film your own horror flick!
Comment by Mome-rath — December 11, 2008 @ 8:19 pm
my goodness, it’s one thing after another for you lately, huh? hang in there!
Comment by Kim — December 12, 2008 @ 3:32 am
I see film in your future lady
Too bad you couldn’t see the look of horror and fascination on my face. Oh Leah, I seriously hope you’re considering writing a book about your not so calm life.
Comment by Sherri Funk — December 12, 2008 @ 6:08 am
Look at it this way - it could have been vomit. At least blood doesn’t smell.
Comment by Jill — December 12, 2008 @ 6:40 am
Oh my, keep still Jonas, keep still!
Comment by Sarah — December 12, 2008 @ 7:29 am
Poor kid (and mom)! You guys just don’t get a break do you? Thanks for posting it all though, it helps me count my blessings…..and the fact that all I had to clean up was pee off the carpet when Austin figured out how to take his diaper off and peed on my living room floor and then said, “uh oh!” Lucky they’re so cute!!!
Comment by Mica — December 12, 2008 @ 9:06 am
So sorry that your little dude is having a hard time as well as yourself cleaning it up! Praying things will get a little lighter for you!
Comment by Casey Lu — December 12, 2008 @ 11:01 am
You are ahaving a hard time lou, hope you have an uneventful weekend!!
Comment by Maggie — December 13, 2008 @ 3:42 pm
I cried through the croup story (having two children who have been through the weather room as well) then read through the blood & gore story & thought how mothers truely make the world go round! Keep your chin up & keep praying & counting your blessings!
Comment by maureen — December 28, 2008 @ 6:10 am