For the first time in four pregnancies everything was right.

I have been contracting about 120 times a day for the past two weeks (that is an actual average, not hyperbole). This happened during my last two pregnancies and with both I spent time in the hospital (7 weeks with Jonas, 4 days with Maggie and then home bed rest for several more weeks). I was completely convinced that we were going down the same road, after all the scenery was the same. The last times I was doing this at 32 weeks I was dilated to a 3 and about 85% effaced. People were freaking out. We prepared for a tiny, sick preemie. Well, I prepared as much as one can when she is strapped to a bed and rendered useless.

My doctor checked me today and I am not dilated one little bit. Not even a finger tip. I am also not effaced. Basically, I have a well behaved cervix. This is unprecedented. I hardly even know what to do with the information aside from rejoice. I even got clearance to go to CHA if it works out! More importantly, I am being given the opportunity to care for my family during these last few weeks as a foursome. I am actually going to get to prepare for this baby, without so much worry over insufficient lung function or weight gain. I can haul laundry up and down the stairs without feeling guilty at every step because this might be the one minor workout that causes my insides to completely unglue and make my baby fall out!

THIS IS SO LIBERATING, REASSURING AND JOYFUL!

Of course, as my doctor was quick to remind me, this can change in a day. But for me, even having made it to the extremely critical mark of 32 weeks (the major turning point for preemie births) and not even have any issues at all is an accomplishment. Even if my insides totally revolt a week from now, that will still be a big wow.

I may actually carry a baby to term. We hadn’t thought it was possible.

I drove away from the hospital today and started to cry tears of joy and gratitude. I am so overwhelmed with the feeling that I am being cared for and a very blessed recipient of God’s tender mercies.

I’m sure that if for some reason I end up 40 weeks pregnant, I will be crying for other reasons. But today- this is incredible.

PS: Cute doll by Bamboletta. Baby’s 1st toy, a lovely gift from Christine. Thank you. I smile every time I see it!

PPS: Chris is still not home. He is in Maine. A tiny let down, but ultimately good as it gives us all a good night’s rest; I was supposed to pick him up verrrrry late tonight before. Dinner tomorrow works for me!

PPPS: Do you think he’ll bring me a lobster? *giggle*