I was reclined on the couch with my huge belly sticking out when Maggie walked over and asked if Gabriel was awake or sleeping. He was very quiet at the time so I told her that he was asleep. She softly laid both hands over my belly button to keep out the light to help him sleep.

I spent all last night contracting every 2 minutes. And then I got a migraine. One of the worst I have ever experienced.

The day before, I contracted about every 10 minutes and felt like a hormonal psychopath.

Thankfully? The contractions that kept me up all night and are making every muscle in my body feel like I just climbed a mountain are doing jack squat. I am still a 3. This is good. But this sucks too.

I am so glad Gabriel is getting the time to mature and grow and develop, but I am thrashed. My body did this constant pre-labor dance for several days before Maggie arrived, and by the time I hit the day that I actually went into labor I was desperate to just GET HER OUT so I could sleep and stop the insanity. I know. People don’t wish for a newborn so they can sleep, but it worked for me!

Just a quickie update so no one worries:

I am still pregnant and there has been no cervical change since yesterday, which is fantastic! More pregnancy, I say!

I did have a ton of contractions throughout the day, and when I woke up from a nap this afternoon the baby had moved into some odd position to where I can really feel hid little head down there! Feels like I’m hatching a coconut, and kind of startled me with how much pressure I was feeling, so I followed doctors orders and went in for a quick check. Everything is fine, just another weird by product of pregnancy, I guess!

I did learn something about myself yesterday. I waited all afternoon to take that good cough syrup that was supposed to help me sleep. I got the kids to bed, and at 7pm, totally exhausted, I took some. It turns out that codeine doesn’t knock me out like the warning labels suggest. Quite the opposite, in fact. I was still wired at midnight, but I wasn’t coughing! So, for me, I guess this is a daytime medication! So strange, but nice to not be miserable all day!

I ran a few errands today, and I’m feeling more prepared now. I guess I’ll just putter about for a few days, and hopefully he’ll hold on until at least 36 weeks! Who knows. . .maybe I’ll get the house clean!

Thank you for all your lovely comments on yesterday’s post. They brightened my day.

I am still sick, and that pulled muscle is seriously slowing me down. Between the two I slept pretty much all day long, waking only to get to a doctor appointment and have dinner. As soon as I finish this post, I’ll be on my way back under the covers.

My appointment went well! Aside from the fact that I am sick and injured, the baby is doing great, measuring as he should, and is currently head down. I am dilated a fingertip, which is just perfect for me. That is progress enough to let me know that I won’t be pregnant forever, but not enough to make me think I’ll never make it to term. So, all I have to do is get better and I should be able to enjoy just a few more weeks of baby prep!

Another new Quickutz layout. Maggie completely cracks me up. I swear the best thing about motherhood is when your children make you laugh.

The kids are both healthy. Good for them. I, however, am an incubus of viral plague. Nine days of caring for sick children, and this is how the universe rewards me. I am disgusting in every head cold run amok way possible. I am running a fever. And because all of this isn’t enough to deal with without the benefit of good drugs, something awful happened last night.

I was on my thirty-sixth trip back from the potty at about midnight, and as I was on my hands and knees crawling back into bed, I was overcome by a coughing fit. The coughing was severe enough to pull a muscle on the right side of my huge baby belly, and as I yelped in pain, I knew this was bad. Every cough, sneeze, wiggle, and attempt to move is now incredibly painful, and there is a lot of all those things going on. Now, I know we’ve all pulled muscles and understand how frustrating that can be, but try pulling one and having the little person inside you routinely kick it. To sum up, “YELP! OUCH! *&%#$#(&^! *cry*”

There was a bright side to this coughing fit and injury. The good news was that it happened when I was on my way back from the toilet with a very empty bladder. Had it happened on my way to the restroom, things would have been painful, embarrassing and messy. Silver lining, no? See, I can totally find things to be grateful for when I’m sick, disgusting and in pain. I didn’t wet my bed. So, really, things are good. Right?

Ow.

If this is 33 weeks, I’d just like to say that I’m askeered of 40.

Officially- I am bigger than when I delivered both other kids at 35 and 36 weeks.

Miraculously- still have a functioning cervix.

Mostly- I’m grateful. This is awesome. I’m up. I’m running (with huffing and puffing, but still). I’m taking care of sick kiddos and running errands and not strapped to a hospital bed and monitors with no dignity or underware. Life is good.

Small Request- If we could arrange to have my left leg not go numb in every position known to man, that’d be good. K thnx bai.

For the first time in four pregnancies everything was right.

I have been contracting about 120 times a day for the past two weeks (that is an actual average, not hyperbole). This happened during my last two pregnancies and with both I spent time in the hospital (7 weeks with Jonas, 4 days with Maggie and then home bed rest for several more weeks). I was completely convinced that we were going down the same road, after all the scenery was the same. The last times I was doing this at 32 weeks I was dilated to a 3 and about 85% effaced. People were freaking out. We prepared for a tiny, sick preemie. Well, I prepared as much as one can when she is strapped to a bed and rendered useless.

My doctor checked me today and I am not dilated one little bit. Not even a finger tip. I am also not effaced. Basically, I have a well behaved cervix. This is unprecedented. I hardly even know what to do with the information aside from rejoice. I even got clearance to go to CHA if it works out! More importantly, I am being given the opportunity to care for my family during these last few weeks as a foursome. I am actually going to get to prepare for this baby, without so much worry over insufficient lung function or weight gain. I can haul laundry up and down the stairs without feeling guilty at every step because this might be the one minor workout that causes my insides to completely unglue and make my baby fall out!

THIS IS SO LIBERATING, REASSURING AND JOYFUL!

Of course, as my doctor was quick to remind me, this can change in a day. But for me, even having made it to the extremely critical mark of 32 weeks (the major turning point for preemie births) and not even have any issues at all is an accomplishment. Even if my insides totally revolt a week from now, that will still be a big wow.

I may actually carry a baby to term. We hadn’t thought it was possible.

I drove away from the hospital today and started to cry tears of joy and gratitude. I am so overwhelmed with the feeling that I am being cared for and a very blessed recipient of God’s tender mercies.

I’m sure that if for some reason I end up 40 weeks pregnant, I will be crying for other reasons. But today- this is incredible.

PS: Cute doll by Bamboletta. Baby’s 1st toy, a lovely gift from Christine. Thank you. I smile every time I see it!

PPS: Chris is still not home. He is in Maine. A tiny let down, but ultimately good as it gives us all a good night’s rest; I was supposed to pick him up verrrrry late tonight before. Dinner tomorrow works for me!

PPPS: Do you think he’ll bring me a lobster? *giggle*

The past few days have been interesting. My brain is demanding that I nest and prepare, but my body is equally adamant that I lie down and give it a rest. There are a million projects that I would like to see happen around my house, but I’m starting to get the vibe that they will wait, and that is ok. I’m consoling myself by buying things for the baby, simple things he will need that make me feel as though I have things under control.

Today I bought a boppy and slip cover. I have had a new one for each child because I literally wear them out, so that was a fun little splurge. I also bought a package of onesies with long sleeves and the little fold over hand bits. I stared at this package for awhile deciding if it was coming home with me. It says 0-3 months, but that is 8-12 lbs, heavy on the 12. I have no idea when this boy is going to make his entrance; it is plausible that I will go to term or that I will deliver early like the past two times. It is a strange feeling when you could have a baby in three weeks or nine. That is an awful lot of wiggle room to contend with. I would be quite happy with five. Five weeks from now would do me fine, six would be even better. Nine is far, far too many, as is eight. Ultimately, you get what you get, babies come in their own good time, and all you can really hope for is adequate lung function. I give this boy nightly pep talks on the merits of learning to breathe and packing on weight. Whether I am calming myself or sending the power of positive thinking and encouragement straight into my womb, I have no idea. But I feel better verbalizing his priorities to him, and encouraging his speedy development.

Now, rather than jumping into cleaning and organizing projects, I find myself laying down. I am contracting quite a lot, and they do slow me down. I know bed rest is likely come my appointment next week, so I am alternating resting and doing the handful of small things that I wanted to have ready before that happened. I have purchased many of the absolute essentials. I have transitioned Maggie out of my bed and into her own. I bought a new underbed box for toys. . .a simple thing, but still, a thing done.

Today I am finding peace in the handful of tiny things that are done.

And waiting not so patiently for this guy to get home next week so I can start bossing him around to do the rest!

It feels like so much is wrapping up, which is good because I’m pretty tired.