I’m almost entirely at peace with it, which is amazing considering that this deployment leaves me ill, pregnant, and alone with two young children. It is amazing considering that it asks me to get through all major holidays and two birthdays. It demands that I do pre-term labor and bed rest. It is profoundly amazing that I am ok in the face of childbirth without Chris, but I am. I’m not calloused, I’m simply ok. I feel like everything will be just fine.

We will get through it because that is what you do. You go forward, you go through, and if you are smart you make the very most of it. Because of this, I have been very focused on my plans for the holidays and the little things we can do to celebrate the changes and rhythms of life. I am looking forward to the added stillness and also the activities I can do with my children. I am looking forward to having somewhat better health as this pregnancy progresses. I am anticipating the quiet, simple routine we get into when Chris deploys. I am anticipating this new life on its way, feeling excited and so contented by the thought of fresh newborn skin and tiny baby gowns. I am wrapping myself in a saftey net of shopping for cloth diapers and making handmade baby announcements and watching my children paint and color, because these things are happy. These things are peaceful.

Of course I do have concerns. Some of these challenges will be hard. I am certain we will have surprises to deal with, illnesses, and children who miss their Daddy a lot. The ritual of holidays will be a wonderful distraction and opportunity to create, but also a little lonely without Chris. I can promise that my pregnancy hormones will get the best of me and there will be days I cry and hurt and feel lonely and overwhelmed. There will be days when the house is messy and everyone is overtired. But in spite of all this, or maybe because I understand all of this - I’m alright.

I will be 20 weeks along when Chris departs, and when he comes home he will meet our baby, just a week or two old. And then everyone will start a little newer, and a little wiser, and a little more appreciative of the togetherness we will share.

My first Halloween. I am six days shy of one, and I am a clown.

In this shot I am two years old and dressed up as . . .um. . . let’s see. . .I’m wearing a white trashbag and my hair has been styled in anti-gravity tinfoil. I have on more eye make-up than Cher. I look exactly like everybody else from the 80’s, and I have no idea what or who I am. But I am cute, and probably channeling radio stations.

Here I am at three. I am so adorable. This was the year of the polka dot witch. Not only was every inch of my witch hat and dress covered in multicolored polka dots, but what is really fantatsic is my waist length hair spray painted in coordinating polka dots all down the back. I. was. so. proud.

Now, my mother’s fro-like hair? Not a costume. 1984 was a bad year for hair.

Awww, here I am at five or six dressed as Ginda the Good Witch. Once again, I am styled with tinfoil, but this time with just a touch of taste since it is only on the matching wand. The crown is clearly a Burger King tracing job. I thought that shimmery pink dress was the most fabulous dress ever.

These are some of my favorite costumes. Our family had three, a clown, a bat and a pumpkin- all they comprised was a cape and matching hat. So simple, so cute.

This lovely number turned me into a princess. . .the kind of princess who hot glues rhinestones onto her nightgown. Note the really attractive matching blue turtleneck. I did grow up in North Dakota, folks. We usually trick or treated through snow. Once again, someone got all creative with the tin foil. My crown is awesome. I totally have the urge to go tinfoil something right now. Best thing about the photo? It has to be the totally unimpressed look on my face after I just won second place in the nursing home costume contest. I’ve had that look perfected since before the fourth grade!

Ok, seriously, they don’t get any better than this. I am. . .A SLICE OF BREAD! My dad found a huge piece of foam rubber somewhere and he and my mom cut it into a bread shape, cut out the center and a spot for my face and hands. It was, by far, the warmest costume I ever wore, and also the most cumbersome. I could not sit, or go to the bathroom, or get in and out on my own. And when I got knocked over, I stayed flat on my back until some kind person helped me back up.

This clever costume holds the family record of being the absolute best costume we’ve ever come up with. Everyone has worn it, but- I was the first. Note the hole cut into the cardboard “lid”- even with half the board cut away that lid made the wearer so top heavy you couldn’t keep it on for very long. This is what you get to dress up as when your mom is an artist. I totally get my creativity from her.

Nearly all of the missing photographs from Halloween’s during my lifetime, I am dressed as a witch. My borther and sister are stinkin’ adorable, while I am clearly in the awkward, ugly glasses and bad hair phase.

Note the cape. We got a lot of mileage out of that cape. After almost twenty years of dedicated Halloween service at my parent’s house, it moved to my house where my son wore out the last remaining fibers being super heros and Harry Potter. It literally died just about six months ago.

The angel costume. Oh I had a good Halloween that year! What you can’t see about the costume are the four pairs of nylons I have on underneath. It was FREEZING that year.

The best thing about that year was undoubtedly the church Halloween party.

See the angel throwing the pie with deadly aim? That is so me. I learned that year that I have an uncommon talent for pie throwing, and that my accuracy is unmatched. The unfortunate man in the photo? Our bishop.

Oh the fond memories. I took out the entire bishopric in three throws, and kept going back. It was poetic. . .angel pies bishop. I have the dopiest grin on my face right now just thinking about it.

Ok- moving on.

I am a senior in high school in this shot of me dancing at the Halloween dance. Now, this costume was originally created for me in elementary school when I gave a report on Sacajawea. See?

Come Sr year, it was pushing the good girl limits short and I was one hot Sacajawea. That is the closest I have ever come to an adult costume.

Aside from one wild pipi longstocking costume in college, I haven’t dressed up since. Time for that to change, eh?

Ritz camera is in Fairfield, CA and my crop is in Vacaville. This is not really a big deal, as it only takes about ten minutes on the freeway to get from point A to point B, unless you’re me.

I got in my car and headed out. I swung by a fast food place to maximize my time by eating on the drive. This was my first mistake. Persons afflicted with pregnancy brain should not attempt to multitask.

After getting the food I started driving. A few miles later, realized that I was on auto pilot and headed home, which was completely the wrong direction. I turned myself around and said, “not a big deal, the freeway is right over there!” I entered the freeway (a road I use frequently) and started driving deeper into Vacaville. I got on the wrong freeway. I wanted West, but I was headed due East.

I exited the freeway and drove around until I found the correct freeway- I-80 East. I manage to get to the photo shop and get my prints. I get back onto the freeway, and head home in the correct direction. I’m driving, I’m driving, I’m. . .missing my exit.

I get off at the next exit (ironically, the same exit I got off at last time I messed up), and find my way back into town. I’m driving, I’m driving, I’m. . .on auto-pilot toward home again! No worries! I just need to turn around. The freeway is right over there! I hop on it. . .and I’m headed away from my destination, yet again. I didn’t actually need to hop onto the freeway, I just needed to drive about 7 more blocks and I would have been there.

Instead, I get off at the same exit I’ve already visited twice in error today. And then I do it right.

Total time: 55 minutes

J- “I had a nightmare again.”

L- “You have to actually fall asleep before you can have a nightmare.”

J- “But there was a monster.”

L- “Get up and clean your room for ten minutes. You’ll feel better.”

J- “I’m gonna go talk to Dad.”

One of my favorite Cosmo Cricket lines is the Gretel collection. I loved it so much I put it in my kits last year! I have been living in California, thanks to the US Air Force, for over five years now. There is no autumn where I live, and that is hard on me. I am a creature who likes consistancy and likes to feel the Earth making seasonal changes. There is comfort and assurance in the natural order of the seasons, and when you spend twenty some years on that cycle, and then lose it completely, it shakes you up on an internal clock level, making everything seem just slightly off.

A few years ago, my family mailed me a bunch of autumn leaves. I still have them in a drawer in my scrapbooking room, and I pull them out every fall. We take trips to punpkin patches where the still green, fruitful fields are decorated to look as thought autumn has sprung full blown. I pull out an autumn inspired wreath for my door, and my harvest inspired decorations. We buy far too many pumpkins and ears of indian corn, and we fake it. We pretend that autumn has come again, and ignore the ninety degree weather, the people running around in tank tops, and the green of our gardens.

To create these layouts I decided to use primarily the backs of the double sided Cosmo Cricket paper. I also kept things simple and incorporated the circles, lettering and leaf cut outs by using my Quickutz die cutting machine. Then I added a little inking to make things pop.

I never have to ask the kids what they want to be for Halloween. They start telling me on November 1st exactly what they will dress as for the following year. It is inevitable that this idea will change several times as new characters and ideas catch their attention. I made the kids finalize their costumes yesterday so I could order them and be good and ready.

Jonas has decided to be Indiana Jones. This idea beat out a vampire and a ninja.

I think the reaosn it beat out all the others was related directly to the number of really cool Indiana Jones accessories he could beg me for in relation to the costume. Vampires don’t get special whips, guns, hats or matching action figures.

I talked Maggie into this monarch butterfly costume for two reasons.

#1- It is stinking adorable.
#2- It matches Halloween scrapbook paper. The Little Mermaid didn’t coordinate so well.

Now, I usually don’t dress up. In fact, I think I was in college the last time I donned a costume and left the house. I always want to dress up, but I never get around to it. I thought about being a butterfly like Maggie, or maybe a fairy or an enchantress or something really gorgeous that would photograph well.

At this point, I realized that come Halloween I was going to be six months pregnant and huge. I’d make a pretty wild looking fairy with a huge belly, and I’d have to sew my own costume, which I just don’t have the energy for. I began to brainstorm.

I have always wanted to do the pregnant cheerleader costume and have Chris go as a football player, but Chris won’t be here for Halloween this year. Scratch that. I ran accross a nun costume and had a good laugh thinking about how that would go over, but figured I’d probably offend a lot of people wearing that get up. No.

Then I found this Comfortable, will definitely fit a pregnant belly, and cute. Not to mention it matches scrapbook paper. Now, I will not be wearing this with tights like the picture shows. I’m thinking black maternity pants and a long sleeved black shirt. It is going to be a fun Halloween!

Scrapped with the Scrapbook Nook’s October kit.